Mets Mess: Hire Martha Stewart As Manager Now!

Article first published as Mets Mess: Hire Martha Stewart As Manager Now! on Blogcritics.

If you are a fan of the New York Mets like I am, you must be steaming right about now. The organization treated the hiring of Sandy Alderson as General Manager like the second coming of Frank Cashen, but the truth be told I think they should have about as much confidence in him as the financial advice once given to them by Bernie Madoff.


Most baseball fans are familiar with the famous routine “Who's on First?” by comedians Abbott and Costello. It is an hilarious look at baseball in general and is apropos for the Mets in particular. Alderson is messing around with managerial interviews and taking forever; he should take a page from Mayor Bloomberg’s book: he fired Joel Klein and faster than you can say “Chico Escuela” he hired Cathie Black to lead our NYC public schools.

Hey, I have a great idea: Alderson should go out and hire Martha Stewart to run the Mets, and you know they could do worse. They have dissed Met favorite Wally Backman (who did a great job with the Single A Brooklyn Cyclones this year), and they are looking at everyone from Clint Hurdle to Pee Wee Herman to run the show. Come to think of it, I think Ms. Stewart would be an ideal manager. If Ms. Black can come in and run the city schools with no educational experience, surely Ms. Stewart could do the same thing with the Mets.

If we take a look at previous managers in the last twenty years - and that’s not such a great crop to be sure - the one that stands out to me is Willie Randolph. Fellow New Yorker Randolph, who grew up in Brooklyn as a Met fan, not only has the right pedigree but he is baseball smart. Now, Bobby Valentine is baseball smart too, but he also was as bad a combination with the Mets as are Bill Maher and Bill O’Reilly on their first date.

Now, back to the Abbott and Costello routine. There is no question that Alderson is putting around the green and not sinking any balls. He is obviously afraid of making a big mistake - before making an even bigger mistake of messing up the team more than it already is.

My advice is to hire Ms. Stewart and let’s get on with it. She will have the guys knitting in the clubhouse, making a mean soufflé before the game, and having tea parties after the game (don’t forget to extend those pinkies, guys). After Ms. Stewart is firmly ensconced in the field they call Citi (and I still say it should have been called Shea Stadium just the same way the Yankees called their new park by its rightful name), these are the things that need to be attended to before New Year’s Eve:

First Base: Ike Davis. Enough said.

Second Base: Let Luis Castillo and his wobbly legs go. Hire Orlando Hudson like yesterday.

Shortstop: Give Jose Reyes a chance to not lead-off and he will find himself again.

Third Base: David Wright is the Mets’ Derek Jeter. "Always and Forever." I can hear Martha singing now.

Leftfield: A guy named Carlos Beltran, who looked bad in center last year, will look pretty good out there. Give him a chance to belt 40 dingers, but please, no looking at a called strike three anymore, Carlos.

Centerfield: Angel Pagan, the little train that showed he could. Now he’s a locomotive. Chug-a-chug-a, Angel. This will be his year.

Rightfield: There’s a guy named Jason Werth out there now. Martha should send a hologram of herself to Fred Wilpon saying, “You’re my only hope, Obi-wan, get me Jason Werth.” The force is with him to be sure.

Catcher: Two words: Josh Thole. I bet that he will emerge as the Jerry Grote of this team. Now all he needs is his Tom Seaver.

Starters: Martha, get that hologram fired up again, and this time ask for Cliff Lee (a lefty Tom Seaver). The force is with him too, and this is what the Mets need to do to let the Yankees and their fans know who’s boss in this town again.

Bullpen: Sayonara, Hisanori Takahashi. You did well when we needed you, but you're headed elsewhere. Oh, and the Mets can drop Oliver Perez into the same dumpster where they put Castillo and forget about him. Also, like it or not, we are stuck with Francisco (I never met a guy I didn’t want to beat up) Rodriguez. Let’s hope he can be K-Rod again and not K-Dud.

Bench: Can we coax Lee Mazzilli and Rusty Staub out of retirement? Oh well, I guess not, but they have to find a few vets to round out the roster and come off the bench when we need a hit. Can anyone say Jeff Francoeur? Oh, Frenchy, we need you more than Sandy did in Grease. Don’t be a Mets dropout and please come home - fast!

So that’s my version of "Who’s on First?" Only in this case we have some real answers here. Now the big question is whether or not Sandy Alderson was brought in to talk a good talk or to walk the walk. Come on, Sandy, Martha is only a phone call away. She’ll drop that butternut squash soup and come running if you call. Do it now!

Good News for NY Mets Fans: K-Rod Gone with the Wind

Article first published as Good News for NY Mets Fans: K-Rod Gone with the Wind on Blogcritics.

For those of you Mets fans who are also movie buffs, do you remember that scene near the end of the classic movie Gone With the Wind, when Rhett Butler (Clarke Gable) and Scarlett O'Hara (Vivian Leigh) say their final words to each other. She asks him about what she will do without him, and Gable utters that famous line, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

Well, flash forward to the drama that has unfolded with Mets closer Francisco (K-Rod) Rodriguez and his going all Joe Frazier on his poor girlfriend's father. K-Rod should have known better, probably did know better, but he was seeing red and cursing his way to a brawl as he entered the Mets' players family lounge. In front of other players' wives, children, and family members, K-Rod punched out an older man and, in the process, damaged his pitching hand.

We learned on Monday that K-Rod will be out the rest of the season because of the injury sustained during his tantrum. I was listening to talk radio here in New York yesterday, and some Mets fans were lamenting another lost season - as if K-Rod's departure is the only reason why the team is floundering - but most were happy to see him go. I count myself among them.

When the Mets signed K-Rod, there were rumors about his volatile personality. I discounted that as the usual stuff when a new guy comes to town, but as soon as he started closing for the Mets, I was less than impressed. He made Armando Benitez seem like Mariano Rivera the way he pitched, with the game almost always tediously on the brink of being lost with him on the mound. Despite his impressive save totals coming from the Angels, we didn't see him as invincible and, in fact, he seemed rather susceptible to being beaten all the time.

Now, it seems, the Mets will have a pastiche closer mechanism, judging from what Jerry Manuel had to say on SNY after Monday's game. It could be Hisanori Takahashi one night; Oliver Perez the next night, and so on. Hey, why not throw Luis Castillo in there and see what the heck he can do? The closer-by-committee version just might end up doing as good a job as K-Rod, but that's not saying much.

It is apparent that K-Rod now becomes K-Dud; he is gone and will not likely pitch for the Mets ever again. The Mets will try to void his contract based on his injury being caused as it was during a fight. The Players Association will probably take his side, but in the end we have to hope he goes someplace else and becomes a problem for another team.

The Mets and their fans know the truth and understand it has to be this way. Wouldn't be nice if K-Rod asked you, "Where will I pitch again?" to be able to answer, "Frankly, K-Dud, I don't give a damn"? Well, the Mets are going to say just that and then he can take his anger management classes in another city and drive their fans crazy with his antics. Gone with the wind never sounded so good!

New York Mets Sinking Like the Titanic

This article first appeared as New York Mets Sinking Like the Titanic on Blogcritics.

The once venerable ship known as the New York Mets has hit a figurative and literal iceberg this season, making it ready to sink like a stone to the bottom of the Major League waters it has navigated tenuously all season. If you will bear with this extended metaphor for a bit, you will come to understand that I foretold this sinking of the ship early in the season, but those supposedly water-tight doors took a while to give way. Now the fall to the bottom of the sea is seemingly inevitable.



Jerry Probably Wishes that Finger Was Loaded

At the helm is Captain Jerry Manuel, who looks no more confident than Captain E.J. Smith did when he stared over the starboard side of his ship (captured forever by an amateur photographer) and was probably wondering, "Why don't we have more lifeboats?" Manuel may have well done the same thing in spring training, staring at his porous lineup and rickety vessel thinking he was never going to make the crossing of the season's waters intact.



Captain Smith Looking for Lifeboats

Like Smith who was prodded by his superior Bruce Ismay into pushing his ship beyond its capabilities, Omar Minaya seems to have done the same thing here. He spent little capital in getting the team sea worthy and brought in guys like R.A. Dickey and Hisanori Takahashi without ever going for a front-end starter. He knew Frankie Rodriguez was combustible as the Titanic engines with all that coal causing a big fire down below, making the steel soft and just ripe for that iceberg.

Now that the Mets have hit the inevitability of the iceberg known as the West coast road trip, we see the sinking ship for what it really is: the pitchers can't swim, the bullpen can't find the binoculars in the crow's nest, and the hitters are struggling with the ropes on the lifeboats. Manuel may be running to the rail and thinking, "Man overboard," but he has to be reminded that like Captain Smith he has to go down with the ship.

All of my fellow Mets fans have to face the facts here. This vessel was never unsinkable and never pronounced to be. In fact, it was so obvious in spring training, that it seemed like putting out to sea in a submarine with screen doors. Still, we were wooed by the surge at the end of April, convinced by the trickery of knuckleballer Dickey and that some sort of second coming of Jerry Koosman could be found in Takahashi, but the problem was that there just are not enough water-tight doors to keep this ship afloat.

Since the return of golden boy Carlos Beltran, the Mets are 2-8 with Beltran hitting an abysmal .188. The rest of the team is not doing much better, so they would do well to jump into the lifeboats, but if they can manage to handle the oars as well as they do bats, they probably wouldn't do enough to get away from the wake of the stinking ship (oh, I meant sinking ship).

Mets fans have to look at the reality of 2010 as it is: another lost season. Put on the life vests, get into the lifeboats, and row fast as you can toward the H.M.S. Carpathia of 2011. As with the survivors of the Titanic, that is the only hope we have and we will have to make the best of it.

Surviving A Rain Delay At Citi Field

Article first published as Surviving A Rain Delay At Citi Field on Blogcritics.

Going to last night's game at Citi Field, I was tempted to take my old toy broom, which I used to bring as a kid to games at Shea Stadium when the Mets were ready to sweep an opponent. Instead, I opted to take an umbrella, and I am glad I did.


The Mets ground crew quickly got the field covered when rain fell.

During the rain delay there was an amazing spirit amongst the people waiting around in the ballpark. The way Citi Field is configured, there are plenty of refreshment areas and everyone was partaking in the bounty of hot dogs, pizzas, grilled sausages, and ice cream that is available. Another difference from old Shea is the quantity and quality of a variety of beers either on tap, in bottles, or in the can. Two hours is a long time to twiddle one's thumbs, but from what I observed many of the faithful were too busy holding cups to bother with that.

 

I am waiting for the game to start along with forty thousand other fans.

 

It is Fleet Week here in New York City with the impending Memorial Day holiday, and you could tell that all the big ships are in town because sailors were everywhere at the game last night. As lightning crackled across the sky and heavy winds blew, you could see that our Navy fellows were undetered by the adverse conditions. The regular fans were also not going to let the weather get them down. They came to see a sweep and some heavy rains were not going to get in the way of that.

After a two-hour rain delay, the game got underway at 9:05 with Mike Pelfrey's first pitch of the night. The damp weather didn't seem to bother Pelfrey (now 7-1), as he was on his game and pitched seven scoreless innings. The opposing pitcher Cole Hamels (5-3) matched him for the most part, but the lefty eventually broke down in the seventh and gave up two extra runs the Mets needed to close the deal.

I don't know what is more intriguing about this sweep of the Phillies: the fact that the Mets shut them out for twenty-seven innings, or that the Mets finally seem to be able to get the big hits at the right times. If the pitching continues to be as good as it seemed to be this past week, and the hitters keep doing their thing, who knows what can happen? Hey, I know R.A. Dickey and Hisanori Takahashi are not Seaver and Koosman, but they looked pretty damn good to me.

The Mets are now 19-9 at home but 6-14 on the road. As they embark on this road trip, they need to be able to start winning some away games fast. Owning a 25-23 record, and having won five in a row and seven of their last ten games, the Mets are now only two games behind the Phillies in the National League East.


Ghosts of the old Mets seemed to hover above the field in the rain.

By the time the game ended last night at 11:53, I was pretty much ready for some sleep and not the long ride home from Citi Field. Although I was exhausted I was also glowing, because on that soggy night the ghosts of the old Mets seemed to hover above the field in the preternatural haze above the stadium. I could almost hear the voice of the late and great Tug McGraw saying, "You gotta believe!" And on this night, I started to think anything was possible again for my beloved Amazing Mets.