In the past when asked about what I wished for in my life,
I would always say “Spend more time with my family.” Alas, the coronavirus has
made that a reality. Some may call it “sheltering in place,” while others will
say it’s “social distancing,” but it is also leading to a situation of cabin
fever that is infinitely harder than a blackout or blizzard.
In a natural disaster, we face periods of no electricity
(thus no TV and Internet), no supplies, and isolation. In this case we have our
utilities, can get to the supermarket, but we are still isolated. When we do go
out, we wear gloves and masks and are walking into stores where most of the
people are doing the same thing. It is a surreal situation that I would expect
to see in a Twilight Zone episode more than real life.
Neighborhoods seem like ghost towns, where once vibrant
streets are eerily silent. The trains and buses are running on reduced
schedules, but when you see one go by it is empty, the pale fluorescent lighting
flashing on vacant seats. Train stations are like graveyards – even the rats
seem to be in isolation.
In my lifetime I have experienced 9/11 and Hurricane
Sandy, and both shut things down for a short time. The enormity of this coronavirus
pandemic is that we have seen something unprecedented – Broadway is dark, as
are the malls and stores, and the schools are all closed. The sports world has
gone completely dark, turning March Madness into March Sadness. I keep thinking
of that REM song and the line, “It’s the end of the world and we know it.” The
problem is I don’t feel fine.
While my kids are putting on a brave exterior, I know
this is bothering them. They are taking online classes, but there is something
definitely missing. They are being robbed of the school year, their classmates,
and even the teachers that they now miss beyond belief. Every kid loves a snow
day – they may even long for a snow week – but no kid wants a snow month or
more. They are social beings and need to spend time with other kids more than
anything.
They FaceTime their friends and that helps, but the
length and breadth of the day is indoors with mom and dad. I don’t mind them
being home, but we are both working from home, so the truth is they need to do
their stuff and we have to do ours. Sometimes that does not compute. We have to interrupt what we’re doing to help them with something or fix lunch or stop an
argument.
My son and I have been playing a lot of basketball. We
used to get to play only once in a while on weekends, but now we are playing every
day for 30 minutes. I tell him it’s his gym class, but that is good for me too.
At the end of the day – after school work and our work is done – we take a long
walk as a family. This is when we encounter a few other souls – a lone dog
walker, a jogger, a couple here and there – and we talk and walk and feel the
sunshine. This should be beautiful and wonderful times together, but the heft
of what is happening in the world hangs over us, making that agony seem to overtake the ecstasy of being together.
I have found a few key things to get me through the
madness of this time. One important thing is not watching TV news. The media
has embraced the coronavirus madness, but this coverage is a green-eyed monster
that doth mock the meat it is feeding upon. The 24/7 coronavirus reporting has
made virtually every other story go away.
Every time I turn on the TV, I see Doctor Anthony Fauci (NIAID Director) talking to someone. I have nothing against the man – he is
rather likeable – but I don’t want to keep hearing about this story every
waking minute. I know Dr. Fauci is trying his best to help us, but please get
to some other news. Please!
You might say that this is a worldwide pandemic, so there
is no other news, and perhaps that is true. For my kids the news might as well
be read by the Grim Reaper – they feel like their lives are in danger and are
never going to be the same. Perhaps we are all feeling that to a degree, but we
have to find diversions.
Luckily, we have Netflix and Disney+ and many other
options. As a family we sit down and have another thing I used to wish for –
family movie night. In the past they were once in a while, but now we are doing
it almost every night. This is indeed a benefit of sheltering in place.
Afterwards, I have been indulging in some binge watching.
Right now, I am going through every James Bond movie. Last night I watched
Pierce Brosnan in Die Another Day (his last Bond film), and I hadn’t
seen it since it first came out, and it’s quite good. Halle Berry has that unforgettable coming out of the water scene reminiscent of Ursula Andress in the first Bond
film, and young Rosamund Pike is stunning. Now on to the Daniel Craig era.
I am fortunate that I can work from home – as so many
other people are doing; however, many cannot do this. In our extended family we have four
nurses and two firefighters, so they are out there every day, and they are at a
greater risk of exposure to the virus. Multiply that by all the first responders
and people who work in medical fields. This pandemic is affecting so many
people, and there seems no end in sight.
Still, some people have good humor and are making the best
of it (see video below). Perhaps humor will saves us, but it’s not easy for the kids and the parents, and when
you have elderly relatives to worry about the anxiety increases. Some have said
it gives us more time together – time to read, to create, to cook, to meditate.
All those things are good, but they are just not the same if we experience them
due to mandated isolation.
What worries me is that this sheltering in place becomes
the new normal. Closed stores, restaurants, and businesses may not be able to
recover and never reopen. Working from home becomes work as we know it, and
even schools remain online because it is an easier and safer way to educate. If
we ever reach that once unthinkable situation, life as we knew it will be over,
and the world will be a solemn place for our children and future generations.
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I keep hearing and seeing the term “an abundance of
caution” in relation to people’s behavior in dealing with the coronavirus,
which is a world-wide pandemic. My children’s schools – which have closed –
both sent letters home using the term to explain the closures. The term was
used by my employer when we were told that we would be working from home, and
it has been used in communication I have received from doctors, dentists, and
even utilities.
The term – as I understood it to mean before this crisis
– is used by bankers and lenders about being overly cautious in lending funds.
Now it is moving into the lexicon along with the word “coronavirus.” While I
understand why people are using these words often during this time, it doesn’t
stop them from driving me crazy. It is nearly impossible to watch TV, listen to
the radio, or have a conversation with someone without hearing them.
Another really lovely term being used is “maximize
distance,” which pretty much explains itself given the situation. Someone who
is into golf might recognize it as a term used in relation to increasing driver distance – how far you hit the golf ball – but now it means to recognize
personal space and then some.
The problem is that there may be no going back from here,
even when the pandemic is over. We may have no choice in distancing ourselves
from the people around us now but, as this drags on, it could become the norm.
Let’s face it – handshakes are sometimes kind of yucky, and hugging and kissing
people to say “Hello” is a bit much at times. People may just go into that abundance-maximize
mode for good.
With us all being off for spring break, we are one, big
unhappy family – not with each other, but with the situation. I don’t mind
being home, but when the kids are home too – and unable to go out in their
usual ways – it becomes awkward. Our only ventures out were to the supermarket,
where dwindling supplies felt troublesome. Toilet paper, hand sanitizer, bread,
eggs, milk, and juice were getting harder to find.
This week we had intended on taking a trip to Europe for
spring break but, since that became impossible, we had to just get out of the
house and go somewhere. After packing lightly (except all those essential
supplies like toilet paper), we were off. I am writing this from an undisclosed
location, a rustic and quieter locale, where the Internet is unreliable. I am
hoping I can get a signal as I prepare to post this online.
Luckily, there is no shortage of wine here. As I have
learned over the years, being home bound (like during blizzards) requires a fully
stocked wine rack, which is essential during times like these. Since we are not
going out to restaurants, having good wine with dinner is the best substitute.
We are also unable to go to the movies, the mall, and any place with people. The
drugstore is another place we go, and it is slowly running out of things as
well. I don’t want to go there too much anyway because many sick people go
there to get meds, and that means trouble is in the air.
Just as Paul Simon wrote in his great song, I feel like I
am an island now. I have electronic connections to family and friends, but if I
see anyone I am no longer hugging or kissing them – I am maximizing distance
with a wave of a hand and a smile. One person tried to hug me, and I backed
away; I felt sorry about it later, but it seemed necessary to be an island at
that moment.
We have Disney+, Netflix, and more to distract
us (if we can get a signal). Disney even did a kind of nice thing by putting Frozen
II up early – starting on March 15. Ah, the Ides of March will have
something good going for it for a change. If we didn’t have these things at our
disposal, life on Vic Island would be pretty gloomy indeed.
I wish good health to everyone who is reading this, and I
extend best wishes to people worldwide who are dealing with this situation. We
can only hope that our leaders, health professionals, and scientists can do
everything in their power to end this pandemic as soon as possible.
Now, I am going to remember that this is spring break and
try to have some fun. I will be engaging in my quarantine procedure for tonight
– pouring a glass of wine, picking up the remote, and watching Mark Wahlberg in
Spenser Confidential on Netflix (if the WiFi holds out). Talk about an
abundance of caution!
I am doing freelance writing and editing at reedsy.com. They also have contests.
Here is a short story I wrote for a contest. It is a weekly contest, and you react to a prompt. I'm doing a good deal more writing because of it. I like generating a new story each week. Please check it out.
