The Book Reminded Me of My Kids
When did I feel like this before? When my kids went
off to their first days of school. The babies that I cherished from birth, the
ones who sat on my lap drinking a bottle as I sang songs! The children with
whom I created magical worlds where we played inconceivably weird games mixing
genres and playsets – like having the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
come into a cowboy town, Lazy
Town characters invading Cinderella Castle, or Batman driving the
Batmobile into King Arthur’s Camelot.
I took the kids everywhere with me and then had to take
them to their first days of school and say goodbye to them; letting go of their hands was not easy, but what was worse followed. I went
home alone to start working, but all their toys reminded me that those glorious
days of their being all mine were over.
All My Books Are My Babies
That is how publishing this book feels now. It was ready
a few months before it was published, but for some reason I could not let it
go. I held onto it like it was my child – in essence all my books are my
babies. I loved them, nurtured them, and prepared them to go out into the world,
but this book felt different. It was like my youngest child in a sense – I did
not want to let it go.
I went back in and kept tinkering. I changed dialogue,
altered some settings and scenes, and even decided someone had to die whom I
really did not want to kill off, but I realized that the death of this person
was essential to the story. It changes everything and helps to clarify events
that happen because without that death they would not make sense.
This was like driving one of my kids to school and
realizing I forgot one of his assignments that he needed in class that day. So,
going back in and making changes to the story was like driving my son home to
retrieve the assignment. His day would have been inextricably different without
that assignment, and the same can be said for my book.
Holding on to It Out of Love
Once I made all the final changes and edits, I still
went through the book one last time to hold on to them. The “them” I am
referring to are all the characters, but especially my protagonists, Bobby and
Paula. I loved them – I mean really loved them – and letting go of them would
be the end of our time together.
Once they were out in the world in the published book,
I could not protect them anymore. Just like my kids going to school, they are
out of my hands now. I wanted the best for them, but the funny thing is that
they both pushed back at me. It was truly magical as I wrote their dialogue –
it was like their voices were in my head telling me what to write. So, if you
do not like what happens to Bobby and Paula, blame them and not me.
Total Exhaustion
Life and the Death in Venice was
my most exhausting book to write. Writing is hard work, and all my books have
taken something out of me – Love
in the Time of the Coronavirus broke me emotionally, but since it was
written during the pandemic, I think that should have been expected. However, this book
about living (and some people dying) in Venice just bled me dry in every way
possible.
So, dear readers, the book is now out my hands. I
struggled to let it go, but to be honest it is a relief. The heavy weight has
been lifted from my shoulders, and I do not miss the heft of having to sit down
each day to slip into that world and deal with everything happening in it.
All Grown Up
I have successfully let go of my book. It is out there
to be read and liked or hated. I still worry about it, but it is an adult now
and on its own like its siblings that came before it. I wish it well and will
stay in touch, but life goes on.
As for my next book, I thought I would start writing it right away, but I have decided to wait. I am not ready for late night feedings and changing its
diaper. I think I will take the rest of the summer off or maybe even longer.
Man, I like this letting go thing. I think I can get used to it.
Check out the song "Letting Go" by Paul McCartney and Wings
No comments:
Post a Comment