Every third Sunday in June we celebrate Father’s Day, and it is
worth noting that men who get called “Dad,” “Papa,” “Pop” or whatever other way
it can be said deserve their special day. In this world of increasingly poor male role
models, Dad can make all the difference for his sons and daughters.
I have been very fortunate to be able celebrate this day
as a father these last 19 years, and before that I always thought of it as a day
to give thanks for my wonderful father and my grandfathers. Everyone always
buys those mugs, hats, and T-shirts with the words “Greatest Dad Ever” on them,
but I am convinced my father more than deserved those gifts.
Now that Dad is gone this day is a tough one for me. On
one hand I have to be happy as my kids and wife give me Father’s Day cards and
gifts, but on the other I feel solemn because I cannot spend the day with Dad.
Many others before me have had to deal with this, but that doesn’t make it any
easier. I miss being able to say the word “Dad” to my father, and I still have
his name and phone number in my cellphone because I can’t bring myself to
delete it.
My Dad was so good to his children in so many ways –
generous, loving, kind, helpful, and wise – but perhaps his greatest gift to us
was time. He wanted to be with us and do things with us. I watched him all
those years and had a great role model who had prepared me more than anything
else to follow his lead as a father.
We have all heard it said that anyone can father children
but not everyone can be a good dad, and this holds true today when we see
fathers portrayed on television and in films as poor role models. Think about
Homer Simpson who has been on TV seemingly forever portraying one of the worst
fathers ever. No wonder his son Bart is the way he is.
Our culture needs to promote good role models as fathers
because what kids see matters. They perceive that these fictitious depictions as
being important and relevant in their lives.
When watching the original Star Wars films, my son
once asked me, “Why was Darth Vader such a terrible dad? You would never try to
hurt me.” In some ways I felt sorry for letting him see this relationship in
the films, but then I realized that because of what he had seen he appreciated
me and understood the difference between a terrible father and me.
I can think of all the things my father taught me every
day. When I have to fix a pipe, put in a new electrical outlet, or make shelves
for the playroom, I know I have him to thank for teaching me how to do these
things. He taught me so many other things and, until literally the day before he
passed away, I was still seeking his advice on things. My Dad was the best
friend I ever had, and his absence in my life is difficult to accept. Still, I
feel him with me all the time, and when I am trying to figure something out, I’ll
whisper, “How should I do this, Dad?” Amazingly, the solution soon materializes
and I feel as if his loving hand is on my shoulder.
I am aware there are enough Homer Simpsons and Darth
Vaders out there to make some people not want to celebrate this day. Perhaps
they more than anyone can explain how important a good father is in our lives.
Good dads are important for boys but also for girls as
well. Daughters see their fathers as role models just as much as boys do, so
that relationship is crucial as a girl grows up to be a woman who has a father
who has shown her the way a man treats a woman with dignity and respect.
When my first child was born my father said, “Welcome to
the toughest job in the world, but also the most rewarding!” After all these
years I have to say once again that he was right. Now that I am older and
wiser, I must admit that he was always right about most everything. My teenage
self would disagree with me, but I would set myself straight if I could.
So, on this day, honor your dad and grandfathers if you
are fortunate enough to still have them in your lives. If you have had a
wonderful father like I have had, you know his value and the impact he has had
on your life, and that impact is lasting because it affects your children and
their children as well.
All I know is that after all this time when one of my
kids calls me Dad, my heart still skips a beat.
Happy Father’s Day to you all!
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