Returning host Jimmy Kimmel talked
about past Academy Awards ceremonies and referred to the first one as occurring
across the street way back in 1929. He said that the whole thing took about 15
minutes and, after watching last night’s seemingly never-ending broadcast, it
made me long for those days.
As a rule, I do not watch awards shows
because they are usually a bloated conglomeration of all things I do not like.
Just think about it – you have a combination of dolled up celebrities, many awards
for things I never saw or heard, presenters reading corny shtick off a
teleprompter, and a typically annoying host attempting to fill in the gaps in
the broadcast like the little Dutch boy trying to stop a flood by sticking his
chubby little fingers into holes in the dyke.
Kimmel gave it his best shot, but the Price is Right gimmick with the water
ski seemed pretty lame – even with the great Helen Mirren being involved – and
the offer to win it was made to the award winner who gave the shortest
acceptance speech. The problem is that most of these celebrities cannot stop
themselves from blabbing on and on, even though some did seem to rush through
their moment of glory (whether it was for the prize or not I can’t be sure).
The problem with all awards shows – and
the Oscars in particular – is that there seems to be so much filler, so many
unnecessary moments, that the run time never seems justified. Maybe they had
the right idea back in 1929, but because of so many more categories the
behemoth we have today could never be squeezed in 15 minutes, but I think it
could get compressed into an hour and be way less tedious.
It is not just the Oscars that are
boring for me – the Emmys, Grammys, Tonys, and Golden Globes are too. It seems
all these broadcasts follow the same pattern, and no matter who is hosting
appears to be on the same script. I could never sit through the entire showing
of any of them, so the Oscar ceremony is in good (or is that bad?) company.
People tune into any awards show for
one reason – to see their favorite performers receive their awards. All the
other stuff – from the oddly thrown together presenters awkwardly attempting to
banter to Kimmel sending stars out of the auditorium to deliver snacks to
people in a nearby theater – is just bloating an already obese broadcast.
Last night there were some stellar
moments during acceptance speeches and from presenters. Lupita Nyong’o and
Frances McDormand both spoke passionately, but the wait in between such moments
is unbearable. The performance of “This is Me” from The Greatest Showman by Keala Settle was a
It is time for people behind these
awards shows to give them an extreme makeover. They need to streamline the
experience for those celebrities in the audience and those of us at home, or
they are going to continue to lose viewers. Hollywood, are you listening?
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