Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Making a New Year’s Resolution – Should the Stars Be Our Guide?

First appeared on Blogcritics.

new 3 If you are anything like I am, you probably like to check your horoscope. There is something irresistible about learning what the stars have in store for us on a daily, monthly, and yearly basis. Many people invest time, money, and energy in studying their signs and following the “advice” that comes from the heavens (as interpreted by astrologists with varying degrees of acuity).


I have often read my horoscope and felt it was sort of universal enough to cover the bases; however, there have been times that there has been such synchronicity between my life at the moment and the words I read that forced me to think that it was more than mere coincidence. I have researched more in depth horoscopes for people I know very well, and many times it seems more than the coincidental in how accurate the description was of their personalities and behavior. So

I have been passively checking my horoscope for years, but today felt different. On the cusp of a new year, I wanted my horoscope to mean something even before I read it. In the past year I have dealt with major changes in my life, and also came to terms with the loss of loved ones (some of the residual pain going way back before 2014). Contemplating where I want to be not just in 2015 but for the rest of my life, I opened the page and was confronted with this:
Like all of us, Vic, you are mixed up in the events that surround you. The collective movements of the planets right now have the strength of a huge animal. Our individual forces are powerless against it. Just relax, and make an effort to let your life take its course. Imagine yourself drifting downstream, letting the current take you where you are meant to go. You will avoid much tension this way. Besides, the water is cool and refreshing...
I was completely unprepared for those words; furthermore, and most surprisingly, I felt totally receptive to every syllable. I am usually extremely practical, but now I was being drawn into what seemed a very attractive but highly impossible notion. Should I forget everything and follow the lead found in my end of the year horoscope?

I think my receptivity had much to do with the way I was feeling at the moment. There is always a bit of sadness on New Year’s Eve, leaving behind all that we could or could not do, remembering those lost, those beyond our help, and those who didn’t want it. Yet there is also that glimmer of hope that the new year will be better, be different, and bring joys unexpected or fathomed at midnight on December 31st.

Reading this horoscope made me think of wars, of plane crashes (and planes lost and not found as well), of Ebola and other diseases, violence in the streets in all countries, abuse of animals all over the world, the staggering volume of people suffering from poverty and hunger, and the continuing world-wide war against women, including those living right here in America – no matter how many glass ceilings are said to be shattered. All of this coalesces into the “huge animal” mentioned in the horoscope that seems like coming upon a bear in the woods, when all you have to defend yourself is a camera and a backpack. There is an ominous feeling to the thought of powerlessness, to being unable change anything no matter how wrong it is. 

But the rest of the horoscope appealed to me, and the idea to “let your life take its course” seemed profound in its simplicity. Instead of always trying to steer the boat, wouldn’t it be infinitely more enjoyable to let “the current take you where you are meant to go”?

new 1I took a deep breath and exhaled after reading this. It reminded me of the song “Let It Go” from the Disney film Frozen. My daughter exuberantly embraces this song when she plays it on the piano and sings, and I have often sat and listened to her and enjoyed it, but now I realized that the appeal of the song is the lyrics and the concept of not caring about what everyone else says to do – letting go allows you to avoid the wrong turns, the supposedly essential possibilities, and the hard stops. It is a frightening thing for us to allow the flow to take us freely away, but in the end we are not steering by the stars but just letting them bring us where we need to be.

This is, I suppose, my new year’s resolution – or a semblance of one. I really don’t like making resolutions because they are usually broken too soon or, upon reflection, are seen as impulsive and irrational. This one has a chance though, if I can be strong enough to believe in the universe as knowing much more than I do about what is best for me.

new 2I don’t know what you year ending horoscope says, but I hope you find something in it that will help guide you as you turn the page to 2015. Happy New Year to all and to all a healthy and successful 2015!





  Photo Credits: wallpaper-kid.com, Disney.com, hottytoddy.com    

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Limbaugh Says Actor Can’t Play James Bond Because He’s Black

First appeared on Blogcritics.

To start off let me say that I have truly enjoyed James Bond movies over the years, and even as a kid I had the “spy toys” associated with the character, especially the attaché case that I wish I had kept. In my mind James Bond is more than the actors who have portrayed him – the character somehow subsumes the men, and they are “Bond” for however many films in which they appear.

bond 4
Limbaugh - foot in mouth yet again!
When I heard the story that radio personality Rush Limbaugh said that actor Idris Elba couldn’t portray Bond because he is black, I thought that Rush must have a case of foot-in-mouth disease again. Known for his inappropriate comments about women, gays, and blacks, it would seem Rush is living up to the title of the book Al Franken wrote a book about him (Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot). Yes, he has his right to freedom of speech, but he has a history of caustic and unnecessarily inflammatory statements. I guess that he is playing to the audience that gives him ratings. If you explore some of Rush’s rationale, he incorrectly states that Bond comes from Scotland. If you look at one of the best sources for Bond information (author Ian Fleming who created him), we get the history of Bond’s lineage:
James Bond was born in Zurich in the early 1920s to Andrew Bond of Glencoe and Monique Delacroix, from the Canton de Vaud in Switzerland. The family divided their time between a flat in Chelsea and a large house just outside Basel which enabled James’ fluency in French and German, as well as English. Tragically, both James’ mother and father died in a climbing accident whilst on holiday in France when he was only eleven.
bond 2
Connery- the tuxedo fit just right.
Now while Glencoe is indeed in Scotland, we can see that Bond would not actually identify much with that judging from what we are told. Of course, in Skyfall, the latest Bond film, we learn that Skyfall is actually Bond’s family estate in the Scottish highlands. All of this may have tinged Rush’s thoughts about Bond, but he has lost sight of one of the most salient things about James Bond – he is a fictional character! While I believe Bond is more than just a stock character, why can’t he be morphed in different directions? After all, anyone who believes that Roger Moore’s James Bond was the same as Sean Connery’s version needs to see the films again. They are distinctly different while retaining certain aspects of the Bond legend.

One needs only to look at other traditionally “white” characters who have been played by black actors to see there is precedence for it. The current smash hit film Annie stars young Quvenzhané Wallis as the titular heroine, the old red hair and blank oval eyes nowhere to be seen. Samuel L. Jackson has done a nice job as Nick Fury in the Marvel films, Halle Berry has played Catwoman, and who can forget William Marshall’s turn as the blood thirsty count in Blacula? A number of black actors have tackled the Shakespearean Hamlet, Macbeth, and King Lear roles in plays, sacred cows that sometimes could use some tipping. Why should any actor be prevented from taking a role simply because of his or her race? If you are thinking this is 2014 and why are we having this conversation, join the club.

This situation reminds me of another ludicrous moment from last year when FOX newscaster Megyn Kelly infamously declared both Jesus and Santa to be white. Santa is once again a fictional character; therefore, should he not be depicted as however the eye of the beholder envisions him? I have been in stores and public places where Santa has been played by persons of various ethnicities, and none of the kids ever seemed to mind – it’s some of the adults who have issues with it I suppose. As for Jesus, if you are a Christian and believe that he is the Son of God, isn’t it your right to see him in whatever form is pleasing to you? People who think of God can and should see him in a similar way. Since the Bible tells us that God made humans in his own image, there is certainly every reason to think the entirety of the human race looks like God, not just one race.

bond 3
Elba would be a great Bond.

Back to Idris Elba, I am certain that he would slip into Bond’s finely tailored suits, sip shaken not stirred martinis, and drive sports cars as well as any of the previous actors. Having seen Mr. Elba in various roles, my first impression of him is as an actor who can handle any role. No wonder the SONY executives (whose emails were revealed during the hacking of that company) were discussing Elba for the part.


Current Bond Daniel Craig is probably the best actor to ever play the suave spy, and certainly is my favorite after Sean Connery; however, as with all actors who have played Bond, there is a shelf life to the role, and it seems like Craig is nearing his expiration date. There is no reason why Elba shouldn’t be considered for the role, and certainly race should have nothing to do with it.



bond 1
Craig - best actor to fill the role thusfar.
 

James Bond is a cultural phenomenon that has remained extremely popular after 23 films. Craig will next appear as Bond in Spectre, and then he is committed to one more film. After that the search for a new Bond will be on, and I for one hope that Elba gets serious consideration for the role. Of course, if they really want things shaken and not stirred, why not cast a female and call her Jane Bond? I fear old Rush then might get his appendage caught in his mouth permanently and be forced to quit radio. Well, one can dream anyway.

  Photo credits: dailycurrant.com, 007.com, collider.com

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Favorite Christmas Toys – The Joy Playing on Days after Christmas

First appeared on Blogcritics.

Christmas is over and presumably Santa Claus has removed his boots, has his red stocking feet up by the fire, is drinking some hot cocoa, and allowing the elves some time off. In these days after Christmas, the toys are the story as new ones encroach on old favorites. Since I am off for the holidays, there is no better time for my son and I to have playtime with all the new things while still incorporating some of the old ones in the mix.

I remember those glorious days after Christmas as a kid. I recall my Lost in Space robot terrorizing my sister’s Barbie dolls, the G.I. Joes punching out Ken’s lights, and my trains circling the lighted village under the tree for hours at a time. Those were exciting days of no school and playing and letting my imagination run wild. Thankfully, I am getting to do that again with my son (though his sister has wisely protected her dolls by hiding them in her room).

The best toys are not necessarily those that are most popular with other kids, but rather the ones that stoke the fires of my son’s imagination. Usually, they are connected to things he loves – in this case the safest bets are usually SpongeBob and Mickey Mouse, which my six-year-old still enjoys the most on TV and in toys. In a strange twist, after watching Disney’s Hunchback of Notre Dame he’s become obsessed with getting those toys (trying to get them from an almost twenty-year-old film wasn’t easy). So here is one kid’s list of top five favorite gifts from Santa this year. The list is purely subjective, of course.  

toys 3  5. Happily, this is not a toy but a book! We have had to read this at least a dozen times over the last two days. He is really very interested in the story of “Scrooge” as portrayed by Professor Von Drake (Donald is his nephew Fred). Mickey is Bob Cratchit and all the assorted ghosts and characters are there in this Dickens tale in the Disney universe. The basic story is the same anyway (Scrooge's chance for redemption), and the fact that my son likes Mickey’s Christmas Carol so much (especially the part about Scrooge finally becoming good) means he gets what Dickens was trying to do in the first place. I can't think of any better excuse for picking a man's pocket on the 25th of December than this beautifully illustrated Disney book.      





toys 6  4. Hunchback of Notre Dame toys have taken center stage, especially the main villain Frollo from the first animated Disney film. In fact, Frollo has now become the “bad guy” in just about every game we play. Fortunately, as you can see, the protagonist is our favorite Disney duck who just happens to defeat Frollo every time. I just found out this morning that it is indeed possible for Frollo to time travel (in our cowboy town), breathe under water (in SpongeBob’s world), and go into space with Mickey on his rocket ship. He’s one resilient bad guy toy.  



toys 53. SpongeBob SquarePants Glove World! is one of those toys that keeps him playing for hours. Any fan of the show will know that Glove World! is the amusement park where our titular Sponge and his goofy friend Patrick can go to let off some steam after a hard day in Bikini Bottom. The two figures in the picture are included with the set, and since he has all the other characters from other sets, Mr. Krabbs, Sandy Cheeks, Gary, and the whole gang have climbed aboard the rides to have a good time. This is a keeper!



toys 22. Disney’s Planes Charge and Fly Dusty is a real hit. When we went to Disney World earlier this year, we stayed in a Cars themed room, and while he really liked that very much, I think that Planes may have eclipsed that in popularity now. This is a really cool toy that charges on the base. You pull the trigger and Dusty goes over the TV, through the dining room, and crashes into the Christmas tree. Oh, yes, the box tells us that we should play with this toy outside, but we couldn’t resist testing it out anyway. A few broken ornaments later, we have learned a lesson and played with it only in the backyard.    







toys 11. The number one most favorite gift of all is (imagine drumroll now) Disney Railroad Train Set. With a locomotive that lights up, blows a whistle and a bell, this set reminds me of the old ones I had as a boy (which I sadly gave away as a teenager). The coal car features a distinctive coal bin and Donald with a shovel. Goofy is the conductor, and Minnie Mouse comes on board as a passenger. Of course, Mickey’s the driver and the tracks are wide and rugged. I’m not surprised that this is the favorite toy (Daddy loves to play with it as well), which my son originally saw in Disney World. The size of the box alone caused me to have it shipped, which the nice people in the store there took care of in order to get it on Santa’s sleigh. When he tore the paper off the box he yelled, “Yes!” That Santa does good work.



So these are the gifts that are most popular now. Runners up include a Nerf target set, a radio controlled Camaro, and a new baseball glove. He did get clothing and pajamas, but as those things were opened he rolled his eyes and tossed them aside, almost as if he wanted to say, “What was Santa thinking?” I must admit that I too did that kind of thing as a kid. Alas, now all I get is clothing. Santa, if you’re reading this, I want one 50th anniversary G.I. Joe next year if I’m a good boy. Please!!  

Thursday, December 25, 2014

Fall on Your Knees - A Short Story By Victor Lana

First appeared on Blogcritics.

baby 3 Bartimaeus looked back only once at Herod’s temple, remembering that his mission came from the king himself. He wore his sword and sheath hidden beneath beggar’s robes, his face and hands purposely smudged with dirt to give the appearance of poverty and being on the road for a long time. As a trusted member of the Temple Guard, Bartimaeus had gone undercover before amongst the Romans and the Jews. This time though Herod recruited him personally, and he knew the rewards would be great if he brought back this Jewish child the three kings from the east were claiming would be the Messiah.

He tracked the kings and came upon their encampment, noticing the sentries dozing off on the perimeter. Bartimaeus slipped quietly up to the tent where the kings drank tea and studied charts on the table. They talked about the large star; he glanced over his shoulder at the road to Bethlehem and saw one large bright beacon amongst its lesser brethren in the firmament. One king said, “We will continue away from Bethlehem but then make our way to see the child in good time.”

He knew that they had lied to Herod now, but he had no time to go back and tell this news. No, he understood that he had to reach the child first and bring him back, as Herod instructed – dead or alive!

The night grew cold as Bartimaeus walked along the road to Bethlehem. Having grown up with a religious father, he had heard him talk about the Messiah but never believed himself.

He came upon three thieves attacking an old man. Bartimaeus drew his sword, and the attackers scattered into the night. The old man could not catch his breath, but he looked up at Bartimaeus and smiled. “Thank you for helping me.”

Bartimaues said, “You should not be travelling along here at night. This road is full of thieves.”

The old man got to his feet and pointed to the star. “I must go there to see what has been promised by Micah from days of old.”

“What do you hope to find there?”

“The King of the Jews,” the old man said.

“Very well. Let’s go.” Bartimaeus took the man by the arm and they continued their journey.

baby 2A few miles down the road they saw shepherds and their flock in the distant field. The old man left him and started walking across the field. The earth shook so much as to knock him to the ground. Suddenly the sky was filled with light as if it were noontime, and Bartimaeus had to shield his eyes as he saw the shepherds seemingly paralyzed with fear.

The old man rose above the shepherds, and he spoke as if he were a poet with a lyre. Bartimaeus finally heard the words he needed to hear – “You will find the baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger.” 

Bartimaeus didn’t understand how the old man had done this, but with this information he rushed into Bethlehem and got caught in the crush of people in the streets, and then he saw the Roman soldiers directing people away from the square and recalled Herod complaining about the Roman census. He now understood the connection to the scripture – the child was foretold to be born in the city of David.

He asked around the town about the baby, but no one knew anything. He found a bustling tavern and went inside, seeing men with their jugs of wine and noting the foul stench in the air. The inn keeper suddenly grabbed his arm saying, “We don’t serve the likes of you in here.”

Instinctively he prepared to go for his sword, but then he remembered that he was undercover. To the innkeeper he appeared to be a beggar. He took a deep breath as the large man started dragging him toward the door. “Sir, I apologize, but I am trying to find the baby that was born tonight.”

Once out on the street the innkeeper looked him over. “It figures that you’re poor like they are.”

“Who?”

baby 1“The baby’s parents. I couldn’t give them a room here, but see that barn out there in the field?” Bartimaeus looked to where the man pointed and saw a small illuminated structure; directly above it shone the large star. “They are in there. My wife said the babe was born just an hour ago.”

“Thank you, sir,” Bartimaeus said. He rushed down the hill, across the field, and anxiously went toward the small barn. Outside there were sheep sleeping on the grass, and as he made his way inside he saw some of the shepherds he had seen in the field and the man that he had saved from the thieves. They all knelt before a crib where the baby lay indeed wrapped in swaddling clothes. These few scrawny men would be no match for him, he thought, as he moved forward and prepared to take the sword from its sheath.

He saw the baby’s parents kneeling next to the crib, and the old man looked up at him and said, “Behold your salvation, Bartimaeus of Beersheba.” Bartimaeus released the sword and stared at the man.

"How do you….”

“See what the world has waited for all these years. “

baby 4Bartimaeus feared looking at the child, but as he did he felt his knees quiver. The radiance surrounding the baby overwhelmed him, and he fell to his knees and felt ashamed by the realization of what he had been prepared to do. He understood completely now as his heart opened and allowed the rush of energy inside.

He would never return to Herod or the killing of men. Bartimaeus understood his father now and why he awaited the Messiah, and as he stared at the child with love he had never known, he understood that from this day forward this blessed baby would be the only king that he served forevermore.

  Photo credits: hqwallpaper plus.com, crackberry.com, pinterest.com, renwaldyanics.com  

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Shot NYC Cop’s Son Mourns His Father – A Fate All Cop Families Always Fear

First appeared on Blogcritics.

cop 1 When I heard the news that New York City police officers Wenjian Liu and Rafael Ramos were assassinated in cold blood by some ruthless thug (in keeping with my practice I neither use the killer’s name nor photo because he deserves no publicity) as they sat in their patrol car, I immediately thought of their families. Besides the senseless loss of their lives, their friends and loved ones suffer incalculably from such a loss.


As someone whose father spent twenty years in the NYPD, I can empathize with young Jaden Ramos, Rafael’s 13-year-old son who, instead of preparing for Christmas, is mourning his father and trying to make sense of a world where someone would kill someone just because he was wearing a uniform. Of course, there is no making any sense of such things because they go beyond rational thought and understanding.

My family has bled NYPD for over a century – my great grandfather, my grandfather, and Dad all served the city as police officers. In following the family tradition, I took the police test and did extremely well. As I waited to be called to serve as the fourth generation of my family in the NYPD, I got an offer for a teaching position in Brooklyn. I was going to skip the interview, but Dad became very adamant – he said that he feared the city had changed and that cops were targets for just wearing the uniform (and this was thirty years ago). I went on that interview, got the job, and thus ended thoughts of following in Dad’s footsteps.

cop 2
My grandfather around 1930
I still worry about family members, friends, and sons of friends in the NYPD. Every time I hear something like a cop being shot, I feel a rush of fear and also remember my own palpable worries as a kid. Again and again I saw my father getting dressed for work knowing that he was going out of the house for maybe the last time. This took a toll on my mother too, but she deftly put on a happy face for us and never once revealed her fears about losing him.

This is a reality every police family faces on a daily basis. Just one glance at a the list of killed NYPD officers is a stark reminder of the toll on the department and city. While we have tremendous pride in our fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, cousins, and friends for doing a job many would not do, we also know that it is very dangerous work. The worry never goes away until that last day on the job, and then finally you can breathe a sigh of relief; however, the fear still goes on for all those families of current cops. That is rule number one of police work: cops are going out into something similar to a war zone, and there is nothing their families can do about it but pray that they come home.

This has to be something Jaden Ramos always feared because he is old enough to know how tough the job his father did was, but there is always a defense mechanism you use to get through the day and night. I used to think, “Dad’s smart; he can take care of himself; he was a street smart city kid and knows what he’s doing.” All those things help you cope, but none of them take in account a maniac who is bent on killing a person just because he is wearing a uniform.

cop 3

My heart breaks when I read about young Jaden mourning his father. On his Facebook page he writes “This is the worst day of My life” (sic). He posts pictures of his father and him, and you see the love emanating from the images. You can’t imagine what he’s going through, but you know that there will be a good deal more bad days ahead and that his life is forever altered and that he will carry this loss all the rest of his days.

When I think of Jaden I know that I was one of the lucky ones to see my Dad retire and enjoy the rest of his life. I count that among my blessings, but now I worry about those other family members and friends who are still out there. They are working hard for the city they love. The vast majority of the NYPD (and police everywhere for that matter) are good people who are in the job because they care and want to make a difference. They don’t get the press coverage and the stories on CNN. We only see media saturation when a rogue cop does something.

As in all careers in all walks of life, there will be a few bad apples. Unfortunately, this is what we get on TV and in the papers and what they make movies about. The world sees a “bad cop” and has a tainted image, thinking his story is a microcosm instead of realizing that he is an anomaly.

Most cops are good people, have loving families, and hope to be lucky enough to come back home to them again. Despite all the dangers, they go out there every day knowing it could be their last day on earth, but that doesn’t stop them. You have to admire that kind of dedication and determination; I know that I do.

  Photo credits: NYPD, Facebook   

Sunday, December 14, 2014

The Walking Dead – Zombies Are the Least of the Problem

First appeared on Blogcritics.


dead 1 *This article contains spoilers.

For those of you who are missing your Sunday night dose of the zombie apocalypse, you’re not alone. "Coda," the mid-season finale of season five, left us wanting more, needing answers, and wondering where our dwindling band of survivors is going to go next. Add the death of the radiant Beth Greene (Emily Kinney) to the mix, and you have a recipe for angst that will last until that Sunday in February when we can get back into this dismal version of the near future.

This season has been lacking light moments (except for Eugene’s joking about his mullet). There has been a decided shift toward grim that is unrelenting. It really started at the end of season four when Beth was taken and our group became prisoners at Terminus, and the first half of season five included the escape from Terminus, the search for Beth, and the loss of any hope for reprieve from the “virus” that turns the dead into flesh eating ghouls. We learned that Eugene (Josh McDermitt) was nothing more than an intelligent weakling, hoping to secure protection by creating the story that if he could get to Washington D.C. he could fix things. In short the first half of season five was as bleak as you can get.

dead 3

Still, we are compelled to watch, maybe even more so now than ever. Nothing is more obvious than the shift in our protagonist Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln), who has become more Shane than his ex-partner Shane Walsh (Jon Bernthal) ever was. In the mid-season finale Rick runs down a handcuffed police officer with a police car and then shoots him in the head. Rick’s going over to the dark side started when he ripped Joe’s (Jeff Kober) throat out after the guy threatened to rape and murder his son. Rick’s fall from grace is nothing but necessity as the mother of invention, and Rick’s character is compelling because one minute he is cradling his daughter baby Judith in his arms and the next he’s blowing away someone (usually a living person) who is a threat.

At this point zombies are the least of the survivors’ problems. They have become adept at killing them (or is that re-killing them?) and dispensing with the feelings that plagued Hershel (the incomparable Scott Wilson) in season two when his barn was filled with walkers. The concept that the zombies still retain something human has lessened over the seasons; however, the introduction of conflicted priest Gabriel Stokes (Seth Gilliam) revisits the notions of the hazy line between zombie-human persona. He cannot bring himself to kill zombies (is it more about his weakness or one of the Ten Commandments?), especially when he sees a cross around one’s neck.
dead  4The idea of faith in a sea of faithlessness is one of the more interesting aspects of season five; however, Stokes seals himself up inside his church and allows his flock to get devoured outside. This is an ironic twist on the Eucharist, which promises eternal life to the faithful by eating the host (body of Christ). Credit showrunner Scott M. Gimple and his writers for playing up this connection as the walkers eat humans to keep their version of life going on, though it seems as if the animated dead can survive for a long time without eating anything.

dead 5The extended metaphor of faith as being lost is a strong aspect of season five; however, there are also indelible moments of faith shining through Beth as she is forced to work in Grady Memorial Hospital under the despotic cop Dawn (Christine Woods). Kinney’s performance rose to ethereal, her eyes betraying the inner strength she had from not only being Hershel’s daughter but also surviving with the group.

How can we forget Hershel’s Bible or Beth singing for Darryl in the funeral parlor? Dawn couldn’t recognize Beth’s inner power until it was too late for both her and Beth. That scene in “Coda” when Beth tells Dawn, “I get it” is burned in my mind now. I understand why Beth does what she does there, but it has shaken me worse than even the deaths of Dale and Hershel. If there was any vestige of good left in the world, Beth embodies it until Dawn vanquishes all that she represents.

I’ve read some articles in which the writers believe that Beth’s death was inconsequential – they claim that the deaths of Carol (Melissa McBride) or Beth’s sister Maggie (Lauren Cohan) would have been much worse. While I didn’t want to see anyone die, I had a feeling that it would have been a lesser character. My bet had been on either Rosita (Christian Serratos) or Tara (Alana Masterson); however, I should have known that TWD usually takes great pains to build up a character’s story right before he or she gets the axe, so it shouldn’t be surprising that Beth got killed, but it still felt like a sucker punch.

The reaction of the rest of the group, especially Daryl (Norman Reedus), is indicative of how deeply Beth affected the group. Not only was she the beloved Hershel’s daughter, but she also seemed to be a beacon of light in the darkness. Daryl’s goal to find Beth was to bring some light back into his life, one that she had kindled when they had their experiences together in season four. Some people questioned if there would be a romance between the two, but I saw it as a love that rose way above physical needs and attraction. For Daryl, Beth represented an ideal he never had in his life before, and it’s being extinguished crushes his hopes for any kind of respite from the despair he has always known.

dead 2The final scene of “Coda” gives us Daryl walking out of the hospital carrying Beth’s body. Maggie collapses in grief, and all the rest stare in shock as they see the petite girl’s body sagging in Daryl’s arms. I have to hand it to Gimple for ending on absolutely the bleakest note he possibly could have, and the notion of where to go is less important than how can they go on?

How does the group recover from Beth’s death, Eugene’s deception, and the reality that the church is no longer a safe place? When given an option to stay at the hospital even after Daryl dispatched Dawn after she killed Beth, Rick decides immediately that is not possible. They all leave and are now back out in the world of zombies and the more dangerous foe – the humans who still survive and would harm them.

The problem the group faces is that there are no more standards for anyone. In an all bets are off world, it is okay for Joe’s group to rape and plunder and Gareth (Andrew J. West) and his Terminus minions to kill and eat their captives. This TWD universe is sort of like the fall of the Roman Empire, and the barbarians are hanging out among the ruins and in charge of the show. Rick and company can try to navigate through these rough waters, but there is a sense that time is running out for everyone.

In seasons past stability was found first at Hershel’s farm and then at the prison, but even these places became vulnerable as eventually any place probably will. Now, with the notion of getting to Washington abandoned, where will our group turn next? The idea of getting to a place with more people has never been appealing. Recall how Rick didn’t move the gang into Woodbury after the Governor (David Morrissey) ran off. More people equal more problems in TWD world, as we have seen again and again in seasons past. 

With rumors that the second half of season five will require even more Kleenex, we can only imagine that the horrors and loss will be amplified by Gimple and company. It’s going to be a bumpy ride no doubt, but if you’re like I am you will want to be there for every dip, sharp turn, and bottom-out along the way.

  Photo credits: AMC

Monday, December 8, 2014

Top Ten Most Annoying Christmas Songs

First appeared on Blogcritics.

chris 1 As we get closer and closer to the big day – Christmas Day, of course – the plethora of stations pumping out Christmas music is at a peak now. If you are depressed or just not interested in celebrating or feel like December 25 is a poor excuse for picking a man’s pocket (Ebenezer Scrooge thought so), it is kind of hard to escape the ubiquitous carols and songs. Almost every store is cranking out the holiday tunes now, as well as banks, office buildings, and post offices. There is virtually no place to escape this non-stop assault except your own home, unless you are like I am and you have kids playing the songs on the piano and the stereo.

I feel like Peter Finch’s character Howard Beale in the film Network - I’m mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. Alas, there is virtually no quiet place for me except my home office, where I can barricade the door, plug up my ears, and try to get some work done.

Since I have been subjected to this barrage of holiday playlists from all quarters, I have been noticing that some of these Christmas songs are worse than others. They are quite irritating to say the least. Besides the “Deck the Halls” and “White Christmas” variety and those of the sentimental traditional ilk, there are ones that grate on the nerves more than an Ann Coulter monologue.

So I have composed a list of the ten most annoying, totally unnecessary to hear Christmas songs that I absolutely turn off if I have the power to do so. The first five are those songs that neither mention Christmas nor seem to have an affiliation with it. They are:

 10. “Let It Snow”

All about the weather being frightful and a fire delightful, hearing it makes me want to take a snow shovel and teach the radio a lesson. Worst version – Stephen Colbert with Cyndi Lauper and Alan Cumming

9. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

I am sure this will be number one on some lists because it is so hard to take, especially when the duet is totally incongruous. My vote for worst version goes to Rod Stewart and Dolly Parton, who have about as much chemistry as oil and water.

8. “Jingle Bells”

Again, a song that could land as number one on many people’s lists, this ditty is most annoying when sung accompanied by said bells in the background. Slews of bad versions, though my vote for number one is Ray Conniff and company (they have quite a few annoying versions of other Christmas songs as well).

7. “Frosty the Snowman”

Everyone loves old Frosty, right? Every time I hear it I wish for tropical sunshine. The absolutely worst version is by Jimmy Durante from the old TV show based on the lyrics, which took a bad song and made it horrible.

6. “Winter Wonderland”

Does it make sense that in the meadow we’re building a snowman and making believe he’s Parson Brown? No connection to Christmas or any other holiday, it grates on the nerves if especially sung by someone who thinks it’s a classic tune. My vote for worst version goes to Willie Nelson.

Now we move on to songs with an obvious Christmas connection that are still dreadful. The top 
five are:

chris 3 5. “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”

I get it that someone thought this was a funny idea, and Elmo and Patsy give the song their best shot, but there is nothing remotely amusing about Grandpa being happy that Grandma got killed. I dare you to try to listen to the whole song once without changing the channel.

4. “Santa Baby”

Isn’t it cute that Santa has a little honey on the side who wants a duplex and for the Jolly Old Elf to write checks? The dreadful lyrics that are milked for all their worth (a buck fifty is about right) by everyone from Eartha Kitt to Taylor Swift to Madonna. It’s a song that is more irritating every time I hear it. If I were Santa, I’d jump back in the sleigh and go right back to the North Pole and kiss Mrs. Claus.

3. “All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth”

Perpetually annoying and often played for laughs, this song makes me wonder if the original kid who sang it didn’t get his teeth knocked out for doing so. Written by music teacher Donald Gardner “in thirty minutes” (isn’t it obvious?), the absolute worst version is by RuPaul. Avoid this one at all costs.

2. “Dominick the Donkey”

One of the oddest, most grueling in this collection of misfit songs, this one is hard to sit through even once. As sung by the obviously enthusiastic Lou Monte, it is a novelty song that will make you search for the “off” button while hoping the donkey will kick Mr. Monte away from the microphone.

chris 41. “The Chipmunk Song”

People of a certain age will remember growing up with this one and loathing it. Sung by its writer Ross Bagdasarian in the “chipmunk voice” (he also plays “Dave” their owner), it is hands down the worst Christmas song ever – and vies with “Disco Duck” (sung by an awful Rick Dees) for the worst song of all time. How Bagdasarian parlayed this dreadful ditty into a franchise is beyond explanation, but I’d like to take Alvin’s hula hoop and hit “Dave” over the head with it.

So there is my list for the absolutely most annoying, dreadful, awful, and eardrum piercing Christmas songs. If you are listening to one of those all Christmas music radio stations, you are bound to come across some of these clunkers. My advice is change the channel before you damage your psyche any more than it already has been by this incessant saturation of holiday tunes.

What are your nominations for worst Christmas songs? Please let me know in the comments section – I am sure that I missed a few.

  Photo credits: pixgood.com, aragec.com, wikipedia