Monday, June 24, 2013

The Agony and the Ecstasy of a Yard Sale

Appeared first on Blogcritics.


I always thought that one of the most annoying things was the ubiquitous yard sale. I pass them all the time, no doubt with a look of disdain on my face. My thought process has always been, “Why would I want to buy someone else’s junk?” This was my long held belief until I too was compelled to hold a yard sale, and now I am singing a decidedly different tune.

yard 2





My father’s passing away necessitated a long process of going through the house and his belongings. The accumulation of decades’ worth of clothing and materials is daunting when you are staring at it for the first time. I always knew my father had a lot of what my wife would call “clutter,” but when faced with actually opening every closet door, many things were discovered, including one actual skeleton.

The skeleton in question was of the Halloween variety, and years ago when my daughter was little my father played a game with her of the scary skeleton in the closet. It was supposed to be spooky but was actually kind of fun for her, but I had forgotten about it until this life-size thing came crashing down on me when I opened that door. How do you like that as foreshadowing of things to come?

Once my family and I had gone through everything and took all things precious or deeply meaningful, we were left with the detritus of my parents’ lives. Enormous amounts of knick-knacks, vases, dishes, gadgets, tools, and gizmos remained and had to be dealt with before we moved on. We believed that the things had inherent value, since they were loved by my parents, but we had no idea if they had any real value.

We decided to have a “house and yard” sale, which could also be considered what some call an estate sale. On inspection of the garage I came across old Christmas decorations, gas grill, outboard motor, a lawn mower, a snow blower, tools, a set of dishes, Coleman coolers, a set of golf clubs, and all of my father’s old fishing gear. This and the outdoor picnic table and benches became part of the “yard” portion of the sale.

On a beautiful but hot New York day, these things were displayed in the driveway. Inside the house my sister and daughter arranged all the costume jewelry, collectible art, old toys, books, glasses, knick-knacks, gadgets, electronics, and appliances. We put signs up all over the neighborhood and awaited our “customers” patiently, and just as in the great movie Field of Dreams, we built it and they did indeed come.

The odd thing is the strange cross section of humanity that entered our yard and house. I still am not sure what compels someone to stop for a yard sale, but we had a large sign out on the back of my father’s car, and drivers were slowing down, double parking, or making U-turns and parking across the street. I stood there somewhat dumbfounded that people were actually coming to our sale.

Each individual shopper had his or her interest, and we discovered that within a few seconds. These people came to haggle, and I recalled the interaction between shoppers and merchants in the bazaars on my trips to the Middle East, so I tried to emulate those master shop owners I had witnessed there who could deal with bargain hunters but not lose their business.

Everyone is looking for a “deal” which translates into a “steal.” I felt that I understood this, but we had prepared by marking objects with prices listed on post-its. According to my sister’s online research, when having a yard sale it is good practice to mark things down one-fourth of the paid price (if you know it), but these post-its seemed to matter little to our customers. A power drill marked $20 had an offer of $2, which seemed to be way beyond negotiable to me. The old grandfather clock, marked for $100 (which I felt was a steal), only got offers as high as $20. These people left without a purchase, but I was comfortable with that.

yard 4One fellow came looking for watches. We had a number of my father’s and mother’s watches there. Taking out a magnifying glass (this guy obviously came prepared), he examined those watches as if he were going to perform surgery on them. In the end he bought one – for $3 – and left unhappy because he did not find whatever it is he was looking for (I suspect he thought we may have had a very expensive watch there that we had overlooked that he could get for deal).

A mail carrier pulled up, double parked, and came running over to examine the outboard motor. It hasn’t been used in over twenty years, but it has a cool retro look to it and I had packaged it with the fishing supplies for a reasonable price of $50. The mail carrier offered me $10, which I refused. He was followed by a number of other people all interested in the motor, but all unwilling to go even close to a reasonable price. Similar things happened with many items.

People were offering $1 or $2 for things marked $25, and then I started thinking that I had approached this all wrong. By actually labeling the items I had narrowed my ability to haggle. I recalled my Middle Eastern mentors who cleverly had items unmarked. Customers would ask how much, and the games would begin. I quickly pulled the post-its off everything, and then items started moving more quickly.

yard 3In the end we didn’t sell as much as we wanted to (we will have another sale next weekend and advertise even more heavily), but we did move some items. One guy wearing a Springsteen Born to Run T-shirt bought an old juicer and battery charger, and a dapper fellow wearing hospital ID purchased my father’s Harley Davidson motorcycle model, and they both walked out with smiles on their faces. I felt like they got what they wanted, and the fellow who bought the model would put that someplace and display it properly, appreciating it as much as my father once did. Maybe that is what it is all about – wanting to not discard memories, but extend their lifespan with transference to like-minded souls who will carry the torch.

When the sale was over for the day we put everything away and sat there as if we had gone through a battle, and in some ways we did. Our opinions of the value of what my parents left behind were shattered by the realities of what people saw as good deals. It is painful to see someone offer so little for something that meant so much to your loved ones; however, in reality there should not be an expectation of anything more.

We learned something valuable but it came at an emotional cost. Soon all those things will be gone, whether we sell them, give them to charity, or end up discarding them. Then the house that had been a home will be an empty shell, sold to the highest bidder, and gone from our lives forever. It will be the last step in this process of agony and ecstasy, and I wish for it be over almost as much as I dread it. For now, I will fine tune my haggling for next week. I plan on moving that outboard motor and the lawn mower and those Christmas decorations too! Let the buyers beware!

Photo Credits: Victor Lana

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Lost Championship Game – Why Losing Can Sometimes Be Better Than Winning

First published on Blogcritics.

I know people out there love a winner. Everyone from George Steinbrenner to Bill Belichick to Luis (“It’s great to play for a wiener”) Tiant has lauded the benefits of a championship. Look at the New York Yankees whose whole tradition is based on winning, so much so that losing even a game breaks their fans' hearts and brings grown men to tears. Why – because the Yankees are always supposed to win. That is why being a New York Mets fan is infinitely easier and more fun: we were born from losing. We don’t cry when we lose, but if we win we’re happy. Life is much simpler that way.

So recently when my daughter’s soccer team earned a spot in a CYO championship game, I was wondering about how much she wanted to win. She craved the trophy, desired the acclaim, and most definitely wanted the special jacket that the winning team is granted. Winning that game meant so much to her, but as I heard her speaking about it I felt that it meant almost too much to her. Yes, winning is great, but aren’t we all too engineered to want to win? I am thinking about when my kids were little and my Mom would say (as my daughter and I played a game of checkers), “Oh, let her win.” Of course, I did exactly that. I let my daughter win in checkers, Monopoly, dominoes, and all the rest. As my son got older I did the same with him, but I realized something one day when my father turned the tables. My daughter lost to him in checkers. Dad turned to me and said, “It’s time to start letting her understand the real world.”

soccer 1My father always had wisdom in everything, but this hit me like a sucker punch. He was absolutely right. He had never let me win at any game; in fact, he said he played harder against me because I was his son. I recall him telling me, “I’m doing you no favor to let you win.” So after humoring my children all those years, he got tough with them. Losing that game of checkers was a little slap in the face to my daughter, but it was actually a great lesson. She learned that game and others more deeply once she knew that she could lose. My father had given her (and me) a great gift.

On the evening of the championship game my daughter and I were sitting and talking. She asked me if I thought her team was good enough to win. I said that they were because they got to a championship game, and that is pretty amazing. I explained that all the years I played sports – little league through college and then men’s softball – I had never been in a championship game. My teams never even made it to the playoffs. I said that people dream of it but rarely get it, and that it was a gift to even be one of two teams on the pitch that day.

soccer 2The next day most of her aunts and uncles and cousins and her brother, mother, and I were there. All the girls’ families from both teams crowded the sides of the field. The match was a difficult one, but a penalty kick against my daughter’s team turned the tide (making a 2-1 game a 3-1 game), and they lost steam afterwards and the game ended with a loss. The girls’ faces showed all the emotion you can imagine, but afterwards the teams came together for a group photo – the two best teams in the league.

Later that day my daughter and I were talking. She said, “You know, now they have to defend that championship next year.” I agreed and said it would be hard from them to repeat, but her team would even be better and in a position to win it all.

“You’re not upset I lost, Dad?” she asked.

I laughed. “Hey, I am a Mets fan, right?”

She laughed too, and we had an ice cream and all was right with the world. Oh, and she did get a trophy (a second place one) that sits on her shelf with all her other swimming, gymnastics, and piano trophies. She came home with something more though, a way to see the world in a realistic way. We don’t always win. Some of us can say that we never have. I play Lotto every week, so I get a hard lesson, but I keep playing. A solid Major League Baseball player hits .300, and that means he is getting out seven out of every ten at bats. Yes, he is losing more than he is winning, but he is not a loser. No one can expect to hit 1000, and we have to understand that as we move through life.

My daughter will have a happy summer now. She will be on the swimming team and each race will be a win or lose situation, but she understands that. We have been there before. The more you lose the better you appreciate what it takes to win, and that means hopefully when you do win that you will remember where you came from and treat the losing team well.

Being a good winner is always easy, but being a good loser builds character and makes you stronger. After the game that day all the girls on my daughter’s team shook hands with members of the winning team. They understood on this day and on this field these girls were better than they were, and they deserved to be congratulated.They walked off the pitch with smiles on their faces. I know that they have learned something valuable that will help them for the rest of their lives: They had lost but every one of them were winners!

Photo credits: team-victor lana; trophy-trophy.net

Monday, June 17, 2013

First Father's Day Without Dad

Appeared first on Blogcritics.

dad 1It is Father’s Day and, like any other special day on the calendar, we mark it with traditions and gatherings to note its significance. Unlike the “big” celebrations of Christmas or Easter, Father’s Day becomes very personal for everyone because his or her father is the man being honored. On a larger scale we should note that fathers – just like mothers – are an integral part of a child’s life, and if you have had a very good one as I had, it makes all the difference in your life .

My father died in January, and in the last six months there has been a deep and infinite sadness as I adjust to my life without him. It is not enough to just have a service and bury someone, for the closure one seeks does not start or end there. Compound that with issues of his estate, sorting through old photos and documents, and finding things from his career and even his school days. We his children are also clearing out his house of memories from our childhood, and it is stumbling upon something like a Father’s Day card I had made for him in third grade that gets the tears flowing.

I sit here dry eyed today, trying to write this article as my own four year old son plays with his toys. I am hoping he stays busy in order for me to finish, but I have already stopped several times to get him juice, get him Cheerios, find a missing toy, and change the channels from Nick to Disney Junior. While some may find this annoying, I think it is all part of the “father” role. I have already made him a nice breakfast, and later we will go to the park just as my father used to take me, and I believe Dad will be with us in spirit.

The problem of losing a father – or anyone we love – is the selfish wishing to have the person back. In the end he was wheelchair bound from a stroke he suffered six years ago, and while he never complained I knew this vibrant man wanted to be free of the confines of that chair. He enjoyed seeing his grandchildren, his children, and had many interests right up until the end. On the night before he passed away, he spent several hours on the Internet reading about investments and news stories. I am thankful that he found joy in these things up to the last waking moments in his life.

My Dad was the smartest person I have known. He knew how to do all things and do them well. Besides his time in the Army, being a NYC police officer, and running his own business, he was an accomplished carpenter, plumber, electrician, and painter. Above all, he excelled as an auto mechanic, and he could take apart a motorcycle and put it back together again without any diagrams or instructions. He also could hunt, fish, and live off the land if he had to. Dad tried to impart his wisdom and skills to me, and I took on the task of learning as much as I could in the shadow of this enormous figure who could seemingly do everything.

Of course, on this Father’s Day there is something missing without him, and that feeling of emptiness and sadness will not go away, but when I hug my children later and they give me their little presents, I will know that Dad passed the most important torch of all to me – how to be a good and loving father. All the other things I can or cannot do will not matter because the one and most important thing I am doing to the best of my ability. I know I still have a long, long way to go to be as good a father as he was, but I am working on it.

I am fortunate to have been my father’s son, and I miss him today and will miss him every day for the rest of my life. For now, I will finish this article and go over and play with my son and his Octonauts, not only because that would be what my father would have done but because I want to enjoy every minute of being the most important thing I can be on Father’s Day or any other day – Dad!

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Taking the Kids to New York City – Beware, Parents, Beware!

First published on Blogcritics.

In a recent New York Times article the wonders of taking children to New York City are celebrated. While the obvious is stated by writer Pamela Paul right away (“New York is an overwhelming city to visit with children”), she then plows straightaway into all these suggestions as to where to take the kiddies. As a lifetime New Yorker who has children, let us cut to the chase and get to the truth – bringing the kids to New York is like eating a Big Mac right before your colonoscopy.

kids 2 commons.wikimedia.orgIn recent days as the tourist season descends inexorably upon the Big Apple, I have seen first hand the frenzy of people with children visiting these streets. As a parent I know I often avoid things I really want to do because I have the kids in tow. So when you witness parents with kids waiting on the long line to get in to see the 9/11 Memorial, for example, you know that Mom and Dad are taking in what they want at the expense of the kids (who in this case were wailing, trying to run around, and were basically miserable in the heat).

Paul does advise that some places like MoMA and the Intrepid Sea, Air, and Space Museum are good bets, but even these can take the wind out of the most earnest sightseeing parents’ sails, and the geographical distances are great between them. Do not believe for any minute that you should “walk” New York. The best way to go is what we New Yorkers already know – the subway! You will find that the train is your best friend, though at peak times it will be crowded with residents like me who are, honestly, less than thrilled to see you and your runny nosed tykes crowding the car with crying mouths open and dripping sippy cups.

The most glaring problem in NYC for tourists and New Yorkers alike is the appalling lack of public facilities (meaning toilets). With my kids a potty break is almost essential every hour (or for the little guy sometimes less depending on how much liquid he has sucked down). This is perhaps the biggest obstacle and a daunting one. Recently down at the Burger King close to the World Trade Center a family of four confided to me that they waited for the bathroom (after they had to buy food because the toilet is only for customers) for over thirty minutes due to the long line.

All over the city the problem is just as bad. Paul tries to blow it off and suggests using some department stores, Starbucks, or (and this is a good one) “dash into a restaurant looking sheepish.” Lady, I don’t if you are a New Yorker or not, but “sheepish” isn’t going to cut it around here. And every Starbucks is so overcrowded (long lines with kids who have to pee are not acceptable) and many times you will find a note on the locked door with a message like “Won’t Flush But Will Soon: Promise!” Try to tell that to your four year old who has just had two juice boxes!

No, truthfully and honestly New York City is no place for kids (and sometimes not for adults too), especially at this time of year. I was walking around the city yesterday and saw a frenzy that is a bit disconcerting. The tour buses pull up, people shoot out toward the destination (in this case The Empire State Building), and all seems lost for those of us who are on the clock and need to get someplace.

kids 4 circlelineAnyway, if you are crazy enough to bring your kids to New York, you are going to have to forgo the guilty pleasures you and your spouse have sought (that cocktail in The Peninsula Hotel is definitely out) and take in the joys that are mostly free and less stressful (and include a convenient potty station).

1. Central Park (or any of our beautiful parks). They are free, allow the children places to run and play, and plenty of photo-ops (Paul suggests the Alice in Wonderland Statue) with my favorites being The Sheep Meadow or Bethesda Fountain. Oh, and don’t forget our world famous zoo!
2. Circle Line Cruise. For a trip around Manhattan that is inexpensive and extensive, you and your kids will not find a better option. You literally get to see everything without having boots on the ground. The air on the water is refreshing, and you will get enough pictures to fill that album when you get home.
3. Toys R Us (Times Square). Every kid (and parents too) should go here once in a lifetime. Yes, of course, you will have to pick up the obligatory toy, but there is an unforgettable life-size T-Rex (whose roar should scare and delight), a Ferris wheel, a huge Barbie dollhouse, and interactive games.
4. Statue of Liberty. Okay, you know you want to see this, Mom and Dad. The kids will want to see it and climb it and look out the crown’s windows to view the city in all its glory. I remember doing this for the first time when I was six years old and have never forgotten a moment of that climb, the fun had with my parents and family, and the view out those windows. Your kids will never forget it either.
kids 3 nytimes5. Citi Field. Yes, I am a Mets fan, and many of you will want to venture to the Bronx to see that other place that shall not be named here, but your kids will love Citi Field’s amenities. Besides the outstanding Jackie Robinson Rotunda and Mets Hall of Fame and Museum, there are batting cages, a whiffle ball field, a dunk tank, interactive games, and kid friendly meals at the concessions. Oh, and you get to see a baseball game too!

So if you come to New York those are my suggestions if you have kids. I know most of you will throw caution to the proverbial wind off the East River and just dive in, but you are in for a rough ride. New York City is a great place to live and work, but to visit the Big Apple especially with children is an arduous adventure. Those of us who live here know to avoid the touristy places as much as possible with children in tow, but sometimes when we must bring them because of some necessary and compelling reason, and then we pay the price.

My advice is to go to a more kid friendly place like LA or Orlando. Those places are made for kids, just ask Jack Nicholson or Mickey Mouse. They will tell you like it is. Take it from someone who has done Disney, Hershey, Montauk, and Maine with the little ones – a stay-cation is sometimes the best gift you can give yourself and the kids. They have all their toys, games, and comforts of home. You have infinitely less stress, save some money, and the potty is always available. Ah, the comforts of home indeed!

Photo credits: map & circle line – nytimes.com; subway - wikimedia.com,

Monday, June 10, 2013

UFOs Spotted Over Scientology U.K. Headquarters – Close Encounters of the Suspicious Kind?

First published on Blogcritics.

UFO 1 telegraph.ukThere was a recent report that there were multiple sightings of UFOs over the U.K. headquarters of Scientology. We can take these sightings as credible as much as any UFO sightings, but these reports came from pilots of three different passenger planes near London’s Gatwick Airport. I don’t know about you, but pilots should be less likely to exaggerate about these things, and it does seem more than coincidental that this all happened on the same day (December 30, 2012) when air traffic controllers also spotted UFOs on radar screens in the same area.

This report was issued by the U.K. Airprox Board which reports on airplane safety issues, most notably near misses. Obviously, it seems like anomalies such as Unidentified Flying Objects also come into play here. Oddly enough, these sightings of “two flat silver discs” were over the East Grinstead headquarters of the church that teaches things that people like Tom Cruise and John Travolta apparently believe in fervently.

What I have read and heard is that Scientology empowers people with the notion that they are ancient or
immortal beings. I am also told that the immortality has to do with aliens who came here long ago and, quite frankly, Cruise and Travolta are basically the only two people that come to mind as followers, but I know there are more devotees especially in Hollywood. So, thinking of the show Ancient Aliens, I am wondering if these guys in the flying discs could be the ones who came here long ago, who gave us things like the wheel to help us get rolling, helped with the building of pyramids, Stonehenge, and Easter Island, and then also inspired us to keep looking at the stars and awaiting their return. There are so many sightings of UFOs all over the world, so it is not inconceivable that there are multiple alien races vying for our attention, and some of them decided that Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard would be the go-to person to start a religion that would be an end to their means.

Were those flying saucers over East Grinstead bringing their leaders for a sit-down to complain to the higher ups in the church that they do not like the way things are going? We have to figure that they know Travolta hasn’t made a really good movie since Bush was president, and perhaps they saw Oblivion and are not pleased that Cruise isn’t making Risky Business 9 the way they originally planned, or it could be that the big cheese Xenu is plotting a return to set things right on Earth. The last time he was here (millions of years ago) he supposedly set off hydrogen bombs to rid the earth of his spawn, so this may be an encounter of the most dangerous kind.

By nature I am suspicious of these kinds of things, so it could be nothing more ominous than the folks at the Scientology headquarters having some shrimp on the barbie and floating some illuminated lanterns just for kicks. Maybe it's a kind of in-joke that they would try to get people talking about their church by sending these “UFOs” over the building. All I know is if the next sightings are of Amanda Bynes coming and going at East Grinstead, then I am going to start to get really worried.

Photo credits: UFO-telegraph.co.uk; scientology hq-independent.co.uk

Sunday, June 9, 2013

MLB Should Allow Statistics To Count In Rained Out Games

First published on Blogcritics.

various 185I am a long suffering NY Mets fan, and I have been to a number of games that were rained out over the years. Besides getting the “rain check” with a sad-faced Mr. Met holding an umbrella and having to take the long wet slog home, the thing that has always bothered me is that the statistics get wiped out. It has always annoyed me that a hitter’s home run or a pitcher’s stellar four shut out innings do not go into the record books because it is not considered an official game (four and a half innings if the home team is ahead, five innings if the visiting team is ahead).

kingman I believe that Major League Baseball should change this rule because it makes no sense. What is currently in place basically says that the homer or the hit or the strikeouts never happened. That is ludicrous because everyone in attendance, including the official scorer and umpires, knows that they took place. How can you say that homer doesn’t count? That single that would have given a player 200 hits in the season? We could go on and on.

I recall going to a Mets game at old Shea Stadium when Dave Kingman was playing for the home team. Kingman could hit these towering homers or sky high pop outs – causing legendary Mets announcer Bob Murphy to dub him "Sky King" – and while he never was the most popular player, he certainly was fun to watch. I remember one game on a rainy day when he hit a rocket over the left field wall, bullpen, and into the stratosphere. If you could have cut it up it would have been several homers, but the rain delay eventually turned into a rain out. Old Dave’s homer was an anomaly – a home run that never happened. That seems a great injustice to me to this day.

harvey espnThere is a simple fix to this situation. I believe all statistics should remain valid in a rain out (or other situation) that makes a game end before the “official game” demarcation previously stated. Obviously, a pitcher would not get a win or a loss, but could retain innings pitched (which would either help or hurt his ERA). All statistics would be valid though the game would have to be replayed. In a sense this would be just like our old streets of New York City “do over,” which erased an aberration (the ball hit a telephone wire or went down a sewer hole for example) but retained the nature of the game and inning.

I know this probably will never happen, but after suffering through another rain delay last night (in a game in which I hoped to see Met rookie sensation Matt Harvey pitch), I had to state my case. Oh, and another thing, this game was arbitrarily rescheduled as part of a doubleheader on September 21. How can I know if I will be able to attend on that day? I looked as sad-faced as the old Mr. Met rain check, but that is a different story to be addressed another day.

Photo credits: citi field-victor lana; dave kingman-centerfieldmaz.com; harvey-espn.go.com

Friday, June 7, 2013

Major League Baseball's Biogenesis Scandal – Out for Justice or Blood?

First published on Blogcritics.

arod apThe new “scandal” in baseball is really old news in a sense. The Biogenesis Scandal, as it is being called, seems to be boiling over now with the new possibility that Biogenesis founder Tony Bosch is ready to sing like a canary. Every rat has its price, no doubt, and we can only imagine what deal MLB is making with him. But we can ask why now?

Of course, there are two big names connected to this case – Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees and Ryan Braun of the Milwaukee Brewers. One is a pariah (A-Rod) and the other was supposed to be the all-American poster boy for baseball (Braun), but both are looking at long suspensions and perhaps ruination of their careers.

The Yankees have been looking for ways out of their mega millions contract with A-Rod almost since the ink was dry, but now there seems to be a golden opportunity to void that contract (if he is indeed suspended). The more difficult separation will be Braun and the Brewers, for in Milwaukee he is like a baseball god. Handsome and affable, Braun is the anti-Rod if you will. Brewers fans actually like him, while Yankees fans hate A-Rod almost as much as if he were a New York Met.

The question is what is MLB’s motivation now? We know that A-Rod has already acknowledged being a user (for what he says was a brief time in his career), but Braun got away with it last year on a technicality that irked MLB at the time. We know in the past that certain people – Pete Rose comes to mind – get on the MLB radar and are either seen as scapegoats or sacrificial lambs. With Rose it was gambling – the great evil doer was banned for life. Later on guys like Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were lionized and then later destroyed by MLB because of steroids. And let us not forget Barry Bonds, someone whose presence was almost as toxic as A-Rod’s is now, who was set as an example for all the world to see how serious MLB can be about taking a stand.

Another pleasant fellow who got caught in MLB’s crosshairs was Roger (I like to throw broken bats at players) Clemens. Remember how he incredulously got better and better towards the end of his career? We were supposed to think it was the great workout regime, right? Well, they went after the Teflon pitcher and he got away with it. Or did he? Now he is persona non grata almost worse than Rose.

braun spill If there is a point to all this, we have to know what the true motivation is for MLB. A-Rod, Braun, and apparently eighteen others are on a list to be targeted. Are we to assume that this is MLB seeking justice, or are they out for blood? Will these guys be the sacrificial lambs to scare all other MLB players to get in line? Biogenesis (sounds like a bad sci-fi TV series) could be just the tip of the iceberg. It is just one clinic in Florida; how many more places are there like this all over the country? Can we imagine that there could 20 or so players connected to each of many more just like it, and will baseball go after them with the same zeal?

Right now MLB has set its sights on Rodriguez and Braun. They seem ready to go down, but what will this do to the bigger picture for baseball? Where are all the feel good moments we are supposed to get? Like those kids who used to have McGwire and Sosa posters tacked to the wall in their rooms all over the country, we are once again faced with scandal and the notion that the great American game is not so pure and wonderful as we want it to be. In the process of getting its pound of flesh, MLB may just be opening a Pandora’s Box that will cause hemorrhaging that will leave baseball a bloody mess for a longtime to come.

Photo credits: Braun-sports illustrated.com; A-Rod-AP

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Jean Stapleton Dies - All in the Family Actress Made Simple Smart

Appeared first on Blogcritics.

edith 2The first thing I thought about when I heard that Jean Stapleton had died was that she made acting look so easy. Her character Edith Bunker on the sitcom All in the Family is one of the most memorable in television history. She came across as what some people called dim-witted or simple, but Stapleton imbued Edith with an undeniable wisdom, one that subsumed her husband Archie’s (the unforgettable Carroll O’Connor) bigotry, her daughter Gloria’s (Sally Struthers) petulance, and her son-in-law Mike’s (Rob Reiner) arrogance. The most memorable thing then about Edith Bunker is that she made being simple smart, and that earned her three Emmys and made her a beloved character still cherished by many people today.

I recall watching All in the Family with my family and the show’s characters became like family. The most impressive thing for me was that this was a family from Queens, New York, which is where I lived. More importantly, I knew people just like Edith and Archie and the rest because they mirrored the people next door, across the street, and down the block. Most of the men were working class guys like Archie, drank beer sitting in front of the TV set, and spoke with the same accent. Some of them were as ignorant and bigoted as he was, and when I saw this on the show I felt that it honestly portrayed what was happening in the world I knew.

Many local women were also like Edith. They didn’t work, worshipped their husbands, shopped in the local market, and spoke like her as well. It was Stapleton’s genius to have Edith gradually show some moxie with Archie, and as the series evolved she stood her ground more forcefully and spoke out on subjects that mattered to her – taking a job, helping senior citizens, standing up for Mike and Gloria, and loving her black neighbor Louise Jefferson. While she still loved and deferred to Archie most of the time, her times of defiance marked her as a real person who cared as much as the viewer did.

O’Connor came from Queens, and I remember meeting him once in a restaurant in Forest Hills. He was very cordial, spoke nothing like Archie, and was a gentleman. The thing I took away from that was he must have soaked up everything from growing up in the same streets I did, and he used every fragment of those experiences to make Archie as real as possible. Despite all his bluster, O'Connor made sure to let us know that Archie did have a heart and loved Edith, Gloria, and even grudgingly Mike. He also became a better person as the series moved forward because of his wife. Edith definitely brought out the best in her husband, and we loved Archie mostly because we knew he loved Edith.

edith 1Over the many years since the show went off the air, it has been possible to catch it on cable. Only the other night I saw an episode when Sammy Davis Jr. guest starred as himself. I have to say honestly that I laughed out loud throughout the viewing, and I cannot say that about much I watch these days (I think I laughed only once or twice during all of The Hangover 3). Even with all Archie’s bigotry and posturing during Sammy’s visit, it is Edith who shows the wisdom to treat the man as a guest in her home. I believe that is why Edith was so loved because she was just like the mothers we had (or wish we had).

Now Jean Stapleton joins O’Connor in the great beyond, and I am sure they won’t be able to resist sitting down at the piano and singing “Those Were the Days” at least one time. Rest in peace, Jean Stapleton.

Photo credits: edith and archie-usmagazine.com; the bunkers-nydailynews.com

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Quality or Quantity – Do We Really Need More Instruction Time?

First published on Blogcritics.

classroom afb.orgIt has been championed by everyone from New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg to President Barack Obama; they claim that more instructional time will benefit our children. They want to lengthen the school day and school year in order to enhance education, but many suspect that this has more to do with occupying students’ time and placating busy parents who yearn for school days and years that mirror their own working schedules; however, we must question whether the quantity of school hours and days will do anything to meaningfully impact what our children learn.

Not all school districts and leaders are on board with this. Many states require a different number of hours in a day and days in a year. In Minnesota, for example, school districts follow the less is more philosophy. While New York has a mandated 180 school days (thirty states use this number), Minnesota only requires 156 days. While these are instructional days, the other days are used for professional development for teachers to get them truly ready for the classroom each year. The state reasons that if teachers are more prepared when they are in contact with students that the quality of instruction will be increased. Minnesota is not the only state in which this is happening. Here in New York it is becoming increasingly clear that extended school hours are also seen as childcare by anxious parents who cannot be home when school ends.

While there are many after school programs, these do cost money and there is a desire for “free” opportunities, which sadly have little to do with enhancing instruction. In many schools where it is a challenge to teach during regular school hours because of discipline, overcrowding, and funding, how can we believe that more time will result in anything that resembles quality?

As an educator who has been in many schools as a visiting observer and also as an administrator, I can tell you that there is just too much down time. Quality has to do with school culture and environment, and there has to be an attitude that when the bell rings education begins. Sadly, that is far from the truth in many places. In Minnesota the goal is to start teaching when that bell rings and make every minute count. With well prepared teachers utilizing every minute as instruction time, there is overwhelming quality where quantity does not have to enter the equation.

There is an urban legend of more class time and longer school years adding to educational quality. So called experts note Japan, South Korea, and China as prime examples of this, but one only has to look at how many students from those countries are clamoring to study in our universities and secondary, middle, and elementary schools. It seems clear that those parents in those countries who can manage it will send their children here, where we have shorter semesters and school years.

teacher the-bookworm.netQuality in the classroom has always been an intangible element that can be questioned in any building in any city in any country in the world. What exactly is “quality” when it comes to the classroom? The answer is multivalent, for educators are individuals with styles as unique as each of their students are. However, when you walk into a classroom and find teachers who engage students, who connect what they are learning to real world applications, and who are manifesting a student-centered model that allows their charges to explore, learn, and expand their abilities, you are experiencing quality.

I have seen some teachers do more with ten minutes than others can in a week, and I think that is the key. It is like a baseball player trying to hit a baseball. You can show someone how to swing a bat a thousand times, but there are those who will strike out and those who will hit .300, and this has to do with talent as much as it has to do with dedication. Teachers have to be fully invested, know what they are doing, and constantly be involved in their own learning process. Gone are the days when a teacher graduates with a degree, goes into a classroom, shuts the door, and spends a career teaching. Now we are in a global community to which the teacher needs to be connected as he or she broadens horizons and continually explores subject matter.

There are no easy answers in education, but the idea of adding more instructional time is like putting a Band-Aid on a gushing wound. Lengthening school days and the school year are popular concepts, but they are no panacea for what is wrong in the classroom. If students are receiving less than ideal instruction six hours a day, does it make any sense to increase that to seven or eight hours a day? Here we will find the more is less scenario that will be detrimental to our students, cost more money, and do nothing to solve the problems we face in education today.

What we need to do now is to set into motion “quality control” in education that will need everyone’s involvement – state commissioners of education, superintendents, principals, teachers, and parents – in order for it to succeed. We have to make a national commitment to seek an every minute counts philosophy in the classroom. We have to ensure that teacher-student contact hours are meaningful, and we must realize that teachers need to be properly prepared in order to implement quality instruction.

Lengthening school days and years actually can be an impediment to the process of teacher development. Many teachers take courses after school and during the summer, and this will not be possible if the school day and year are longer. Of course, in places as diverse as Minnesota, Massachusetts, and Finland, shorter school years provide more time for teacher development, and students in all these places are actually doing better than many of their counterparts in states and nations requiring longer school days and years.

Most everyone I know wants the best for our children and for them to get the most out of their scholastic experience. It is time for us to examine what happens in the classroom and do our best to make precious hours count. Quality verses quantity is an age-old controversy, but in the end I believe most of us would take the best over the most, and that has to be the way to approach what will be happening in our schools now and in the years to come.

Photo credits: teacher-the-bookworm.net;classroom-afb.org