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Zoetrope Studios San Francisco |
No one wants to write a eulogy – since that means someone
you loved has died, but you do it because you feel like honoring that person in
some substantial way.
Zoe – as many of us affectionately call it – is Zoetrope.com,
a Virtual Studio where we were able to submit our short stories, poems, photos,
screenplays, flash fiction, and novel excerpts. There were fellow writers in
each section to read and review our work, and we could read and review their
work. It was the perfect symbiotic relationship because we all benefited from
the experience.
The Importance of Story
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Francis Ford Coppola |
Zoetrope Virtual Studio was founded by Francis Ford Coppola –
the filmmaking genius who knew the importance of “the story” in life and in film
– as a place for people to share their work. When I started here, I was young
and rough around the edges. The first story I submitted was “Gemini” – a tale
about a guy and gal who are about to become lovers and then the guy discovers
they are brother and sister. The story matters less than the feedback I got on
it. I was so hooked after that.
Social Media Before Social Media
The funny thing was that Zoe was social media before (I
believe) anyone knew that term and what social media was. I don’t believe that
term was in use in the year 2000 when I joined, but now I realize that this was
always a place fellow writers could be rather social with one another while helping
them with their work.
Losing an Old Friend
This month marked my 25th year on Zoe, and it is
difficult to accept that this place will no longer be here. Just as with an old
friend or loved one, you don’t want to let go of them. Even though you know
death is a part of life, you cannot understand how you will go on without that
person.
That is what I am feeling right now. When Monday morning comes
and Zoe is gone, there will be a palpable void in my life. Just as when someone
you love dies, and you pick up the phone because calling them was part of your
day and then you realize they are not there to take your call, I will probably
go online and click the Zoe icon on my laptop to check the short story section,
and it will not be there anymore.
Why I am Going to Miss Zoe
So, why am I going to miss Zoe so much? Well, the first thing
that comes to mind are the people. I’ve got to know many people on Zoe better
than I know some people in my in-person life. I am talking about many years of
friendship that goes beyond the stories we wrote. Z-mail – the wonderful if
sometimes confounding Zoe email system – allowed us to converse beyond stories.
Now that will be gone, and in these last days we have been shooting Z-mails to
one another exchanging contact info in hopes of keeping what we had here going.
The sad truth is that it is over. You know how when a
grandparent or parent dies – the one who kept the family coming together
because of their very existence – and after that person is gone the family is
never the same. People stop coming for birthdays and holidays because that
person was the glue that kept it all together. Zoe is a lot like that loved one
who is passing on, and so too our Zoe family will scatter into the ether and
chances are very good we will never hear from one another again. I suppose that’s
the natural way of things.
When I Came on Board
When I first came on board there was a fellow writer named
Stefan Ash who quickly connected with me. As I stumbled out of the gate as it
were, Stefan kept me from falling. When I doubted myself or my stories, he
found a way to encourage me and that kept me writing. When I learned that he had
died, I felt as much loss as I would have had for any person I knew in my real-world
life.
Now, I am not just facing the loss of one Zoe friend – it
is the colossal loss of all of Zoe. Because of this site, I have workshopped
many stories that I eventually turned into novels. When they were published, I
always thanked the reviewers of my stories because they helped me tweak my
stories to get them to a better level. I don’t know where I would have ever had
that kind of support and encouragement.
I Grew Up Here
Where else can I go to find that now? Where else can I read
the fine works of other writers and review them. This is a rhetorical question
because I don’t think I can do this in any other place. I cannot do this
anymore. I will never be as invested as I was on Zoe. I grew up here, dammit.
I don’t want to love another place because – just like people – it is too
damned hard when you lose them.
Thank You!
So, thank you, Mr. Coppola, for creating this place. It gave
so many people an outlet for their creative work. You really anticipated what
was to come, and despite Twitter/X, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and all the
rest, there has been no place greater for creative people than Zoe.
Thanks to all my fellow writers, poets, and photographers
who shared their work with us. It is a very brave thing to expose your work to
others. There was an opportunity for support but also pain that is inevitable
when you expose that baby that you believe is as cute as a button to the world but
you find out others don’t see it that way, yet at Zoe there was support to help
make that baby cuter.
So, goodbye good old Zoe, my building and loan pal. We have
been through thick and thin and everything in between together. I will mourn
your loss and there will be a gaping hole in my heart when you are gone, but I’m
brave. I’ve been through this before – too many times! I know how to not cry
and keep walking like I’m ready for battle even though I crumbling inside. It’s
a defense mechanism that works for me.
Rest in peace, Zoe, and as you’re going on to the great digital
beyond, please go knowing that you were loved.