Thursday, November 22, 2018

Black Friday Always Makes Me Blue








Black Friday Always Makes Me Blue

Working in retail years ago, I always dreaded Black Friday – the day after Thanksgiving. In those days my store closed on Thanksgiving, so after an enjoyable holiday that included eating too much, seeing all my loved ones, and watching some football, I would have to get up at that crack of dawn to get ready for the hordes that would be lined up and ready to pounce as soon as I opened the doors.

Yes, my job each Black Friday morning was to open the front doors. Invariably, the scenario changed very little each of those 7 years I worked there (during high school and then college). The masses would be staring at my like zombies, but instead of wanting to eat my flesh they wished to devour the savings that were promised in our advertisements and in the store windows.

Black Friday was great for my store and all the other ones, and this year will be no exception. There are predictions for the biggest day ever for retailers in stores and online. Shoppers have already spent a whopping $31.9 billion between November 1 and November 20, so there is much for retailers to be celebrating.

Unfortunately, even after all these years of my being out of retail, Black Friday still bothers and depresses me. Perhaps it is – like the day after Christmas – just because the party is over and I’m feeling down, but it has more to do with the fact that I can’t live my life normally on that day. Being off from work with the kids off too, I would like to go out and do something, but the “shopping” is always on the menu because we think we can save so much money.

Having worked in the business I recognize all the little tricks done in stores to attract us to the items they want us to buy. I appreciate the way racks and circles and shelves are arranged and stocked, and I can tell from the floor to the ceiling how well a store is being managed; however, I am not a shopper’s shopper.


Unlike my wife – for whom shopping is a sport – for me shopping is functional.  I go into a store with a purpose, say to get a pair of shoes. I bypass all the smoke and mirrors, refuse to look at the items on sale, and head straight for that department only. I try on several pairs, find the ones that feel best, and I am off to the counter to pay and then head for the exit.


Black Friday is different because I can’t be a functional shopper due to  all the dysfunctional ones getting in the way. The hordes that haunted me back when I had to open the doors are no longer separated from me by glass doors – I am among them! There is no smooth sailing in a store or the mall on Black Friday – it’s like navigating turbulent waters in a dingy.

Black Friday is also a myth that has been hyped to an extreme. Because of this opportunity for perceived big savings for shoppers – and retail’s supreme need for sales – Black Friday has encroached on the big day itself – stores are opening their doors on Thanksgiving. That once sacred day off has been defiled by retailers, with some stores opening all day and others with opening hours ranging from 10 a.m. throughout the rest of the day. Many are staying open until midnight and beyond.

I guess my problem is that Thanksgiving is a day for family and friends, not for looking for the best deals. I understand people who want to save money, but it feels like sacrilege to put down the drumstick and apple cider, skip the pumpkin pie, and run out to do some shopping. We are not staying in the moment and savoring it, and families are suffering because of it. 

Today I plan to spend time with family, not overeat, and maybe watch some football. I am not going anywhere near a store. Tomorrow will probably unfold as I expect – with shopping in the forecast – and I will be forced to either go along with it or spend my day doing something else alone, which probably means getting the Christmas tree and decorations down from the attic. Sadly, shopping and Christmas are also intrinsically linked, but that’s another story.

This is why Black Friday makes me blue every year. For all the shopaholics out there, go and imbibe to your heart’s content. As for me, I will get through the day and be happy not to be among the hordes of bargain hunters. I will have to hang tough, however, because this coming Monday is not any old first day of the work week – it is Cyber Monday – unofficially known as the biggest shopping day of the year.

Mental note – prepare to do no work online on Monday because the hordes will be breaking the Internet. Good grief!

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Honoring Those Who Have Served on Veterans Day




Honoring Those Who Have Served on Veterans Day

This Veterans Day we mark the the 100th anniversary of the 11th hour of the 11th day in the 11th month of 1918 – the time when an armistice was signed with Germany to end World War I. Though it is always necessary to recognize this date, the century mark reminds us of the abiding significance of the historical day that ended the war after four brutal years of conflict.

Originally known as Armistice Day until it was changed to Veterans Day in 1954, this is a day reserved to honor all those who have served this country in the Armed Forces. Hopefully, you will have an opportunity to go to a parade or thank a veteran if possible.

In my family we always went to the parades because my grandfather and father were veterans of World War I and World War II. Also, both were very active in the local VFW (Veteran of Foreign Wars) post. It is there that I met so many people who served in the major conflicts of the 20th century. I heard their stories and learned to respect what they endured in order for our country to remain free.

My grandfather Fred served on a submarine chaser during World War I. These small, speedy ships were meant to counteract the scourge of the German U boats. These German submarines were devastating to Allied shipping, and thus the submarine chaser played a vital role in limiting the damage they could do.

Pop was never one to brag about his service, but he did explain that life aboard the ship was difficult. Besides being engaged in the dangerous endeavor to sink German subs and remove mines from strategic waterways, living on the small ship involved close quarters for the enlisted men. Added to that was the uncomfortable nature of the bumpy ride, with the men feeling constantly bounced around its small confines.

Luckily, Pop made it home from the war and went on to serve in the New York City Fire Department. He met and married my grandmother and they had three daughters, my mother being the youngest.

Many years later when I was a boy, he taught me his old sailor’s creed: “Red sky at night, sailors’ delight; red sky in morning, sailors take warning.” He talked about his time in the Navy wistfully, but there was a subtle pride as he spoke that made me know how much this time of his life meant to him.

When my mother brought my father home for the first time, Pop delighted in knowing that my father was not only a New York City cop but was also a veteran of World War II. Though Dad served in the Army, they loved sharing stories of their times in uniform, and as a kid listening to them, I couldn’t believe what they had been through and I became in awe of their heroism.

Anyone who has someone who has served in the Armed Forces in the family or knows someone who has served understands the profound debt we all owe them. When they come home, we should show our gratitude to them, and one way to do that is to attend parades on Veterans Day to show support.

All veterans come home with scars – seen or unseen – and it is also necessary for us to support organizations like the VFW, Wounded Warriors, and Paralyzed Veterans of America who are there to help them. Giving generously to these groups is a small sacrifice especially considering that the veterans’ sacrifices go far beyond words.  

So, this year, as is the case every year, I am thinking of Pop and Dad and wishing they were here with me. Their stories linger in my mind, and I can hear the two of them as if they were still sitting there – drinking beers and reminiscing about their time in the service. They never bragged about themselves and what they did, but they spoke of their time during the war with a reverence it deserved.

Thanks for all you did, Pop and Dad, because of your efforts and that of so many of your fellow soldiers and sailors, I can sit here and write this today and my kids and so many other children in this country can go to school, play, and live their lives in freedom.

Last night there was a beautiful red sky at sunset, and I thought about what Pop had taught me so long ago, and I knew today would be a fine one for a parade!