Buying School Supplies – The Saddest Happy Family Ritual

Each year my family and countless other ones participate in a time-consuming and expensive process – the search for and purchase of school supplies for the academic year ahead. No matter how many times I’ve gone through it, I find it never gets easier.

Each year the supply lists seem to get longer. Years ago when my teenage daughter was in elementary school, the list seemed doable and usually consisted of reasonable items such as marble notebooks, pencils, crayons, glue sticks, and erasers. Now as my son heads into third grade we are buying all of that plus boxes of Kleenex, cleaning supplies, Ziploc bags, and paper towels as well.

Getting to the store with kids in tow and searching for the items on our school supply lists is about as welcome as a colonoscopy prep. It never fails that seemingly hundreds of other people are looking for the same items at the same time (no matter what day and time we go shopping). It is amazing how quickly parents can navigate the aisles and load up the shopping cart with things that we need on our lists, making it necessary to get back into the car and head to another store.

After years of suffering during the last week of August on this journey into the heart of retail darkness, this year my wife and I decided to go on our supply quest a week early – what a shock to discover other parents had the same brilliant idea.

I recall years ago when my daughter needed a specific calculator that could not be found even online. Apparently, teachers everywhere participated in a nefarious plot to require the same damn calculator for fifth grade math. This year my challenge was on my son’s list – green pens. Red, black, and blue pens are available in copious supply in a variety of packages containing two pens at a reasonable price. I discovered after searching several stores that green pens are only found in large (and expensive) packages that contains 20 pens of various colors.

This year as we maneuvered the treacherous aisles of our local Target – made so mostly because of dropped packages of supplies on the floors and fellow shoppers blocking the way – my children’s faces looked more solemn than when they hear school is open on what they thought would be a snow day. It made me recall the classic Staples commercial with the hysterically happy father gleefully putting supplies into the shopping cart as his kids look at him with sad faces.

While the commercial is still very amusing, it does not capture how I really feel now. In one way I am happy to see the kids starting a new school year and moving forward in their lives, but I also share their solemnity because during the last ten weeks we have shared wonderful times together and I am going to miss that.

As we approached the checkout counter with a cart overflowing with supplies, I felt trepidation and almost wanted to grab my kids by their hands and rush out the door without the supplies hoping that would prevent time from moving forward, but we ended up going up to the cashier and paying for everything – a different kind of feeling overwhelmed me as I looked at the bags filled with supplies and realized what they all cost.

After leaving Target we all seemed exhausted; as we got into the car it felt as if we all survived The Battle of Green Pen Mountain. A quick trip to the ice cream shop rewarded the kids (and us) with a sweet, cold treat that we enjoyed – even though we realized that the dripping ice cream cones we held in our hands represented one of the last gasps of a summer that was almost gone.

Once again, we participated in and survived the quest for school supplies. It is a ritual all families must go through, and the sadness mixed with happiness involved is always bittersweet. Still, when they hoist those new backpacks on their shoulders and walk out the door on the day after Labor Day, a new adventure will begin, and I can be confident they have every supply they need for success.

Major League Baseball Has No Plans for Robot Umpires – At Least Not Yet

Recently there has been a rise in ugly incidents between players, managers, and umpires regarding close calls made by umpires. Disputes about umpires’ calls are as old as Major League Baseball itself; however, in this era of increasing prevalence of technology the idea of using robot umpires keeps rearing its ugly head.

Commissioner Rob Manfred has come out and clearly stated that MLB will not being using robot umpires or automated strike zones (as has been suggested by some of the disgruntled players such as Ben Zobrist of the Chicago Cubs) anytime soon. Manfred claims he is a “traditionalist” who believes that the umpires make right calls “90% of the time.”

Interestingly, this comes from the man who wants to speed up games with a pitch clock and limiting coach or manager visits to the mound. He also has initiated research into baseball bats as the reason for this year’s surge in home runs, even though many players believe it is the baseballs that are the culprits.

Over the course of many years of watching MLB, I have to say that the interactions between players, managers, and umpires have seemed mostly civilized. Of course, when a bad call is made – or at least one that a player or manager perceives as a bad one – sometimes fireworks occur and they can range from entertaining to disturbing moments.

Managers such as “Sweet” Lou Piniella and Billy Martin could lose their cool very quickly. Their antics, while sometimes bordering on the hilarious, also sometimes reached a point where the umpires involved could feel threatened. Nevertheless, this human factor provides drama that fans enjoy in some respects more than the game itself.

As a lifelong fan of the New York Mets, I have seen calls go against my team more often than go its way (or so it seems to me). The introduction of the instant replay review has helped reverse some bad calls (excluding balls and strikes), but at the heart of the conflict is the strike zone and an electronic one is appealing to those players who feel umpires have individual strike zones that are far from equitable.

I personally like the idea of human umpires only because I have played baseball games with them and without them. Games without umpires – when the players and both sides either agree or disagree on a call – are like driving without traffic lights. These contests are accidents waiting to happen. Umpires provide a sense of balance that both teams need, and the good ones merit respect and likewise treat players and managers respectfully.

MLB’s umpires are human beings but many times are treated as if they are not there – until they make a call that rubs someone the wrong way. Then the players, the manager, and then the crowd will let them know how they all feel.

I recall watching baseball games with my grandfather and, when the umpire made what he felt was a bad call, he would scream all sorts of unprintable words. Pop was not the only person I know who enjoyed yelling (and cursing) at umpires – but I wonder how they will direct their anger if the umpire is a robot. You cannot argue with a machine – one that is supposed to be infallible.

All around us the human factor seems to be disappearing. I used to know tellers in my bank by name. Now most of them are gone and the lines are incredibly long, forcing me to use the ATM most of the time. In my drugstore, there is usually one cashier with another long line that forces me to use the automated checkout, and a similar situation forces me to do so in the supermarket as well. On the highway toll booths are being eradicated and the E-Z Pass is the only way to go.

Basically, human interaction is being subsumed by automated alternatives everywhere we go.  Consider how driverless cars and buses are no doubt going to rule the roads sooner rather than later. The regular pleasure of getting behind the wheel to drive will be taken away from us, and a creepy feeling of powerlessness and fear comes with thinking our freedom to drive and go wherever we want may be taken away.

Progress is always a wonderful thing if it increases the quality of human life. Unfortunately, all of this automation has led to people losing jobs and limits our opportunities for interaction with other members of our species. The idea of robot umpires is just another example of moving forward without any regard for what is being left behind.

One day soon we may have an umpire version of the Terminator calling the plays. No one is going to argue with something like that, and that will be an incalculable loss. For the time being MLB games will continue to have those men in black on the field. Most of them do their best to make the game fair and one that fans can enjoy watching. Players, managers, and fans should try to enjoy the game the way it is played now – the one we know and love – before it is too late.

Teachers Having Sex with Students - An American Tragedy

New reports seem to come at us on an almost daily basis – yet another teacher is being accused of having sex with a student (who is also under the age of consent). Based on reports from across the country, the numbers seem staggering. According to Professor Charol Shakeshaft of Hofstra University, author of the report “Educator Sexual Misconduct: A Synthesis of Existing Literature,” an estimated 4.5 million American students have been subjected to some kind of sexual misconduct (ranging from verbal abuse to actual sexual contact) between Kindergarten and 12^th grade.

As an educator and parent, I am shocked and disturbed by these numbers; how can this be happening in our schools? The seeming epidemic of cases of educator sexual abuse of students is an ongoing tragedy for our country, ruining the lives of so many children.

There is obviously something inherently wrong with our education system, but it goes even deeper than that – college and graduate school courses for future teachers are saliently deficient since some new teachers are obviously coming out of teacher preparation programs totally unaware that this kind of behavior is wrong. Something has to be done to alter the pattern because it has been going on far too long now.

If we recall one of the most famous cases of teacher sexual abuse from 20 years ago – teacher Mary Kay Letourneau (34 at the time) and her 13-year-old student Vili Fualaau – the media sensationalized the case and invariably painted Mary Kay as a “victim” of falling in love with the boy (who fathered two children with her). Mary Kay became something of a celebrity by writing a book – Only One Crime, Love – and having a movie made about her life – All-American Girl: The Mary Kay Letourneau Story.

Incredulously, this sordid tale is a microcosm of the forbidden love aspect of teacher-student relationships. Instead of recognizing the horrendous and unforgivable behavior of someone who is supposed to be a professional acting in a totally unprofessional manner, the angle is always to show the sensational and lurid aspects of these incidents and cite the fact that teacher and student truly love one another as if it should temper our reaction to what happened.

Now with social media we can get a steady stream of these stories anytime we want, with graphic details of how teacher and student copulated in cars, in classrooms, and so on. There is a subtle permissiveness that sneaks into these stories because it seems to be suggested that two things are usually at work here: the teacher couldn’t control his or her desires and the student was complicit in the situation and therefore this somehow negates the teacher’s culpability.

Popular culture only adds salt to the wounds concerning this matter. Think of all the TV shows, films, and music videos that suggest that teacher-student sexual attraction is somehow part of a normal school experience. Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” is an excellent example of this glorification of the inappropriate behavior of educators and the joys of being the student who got “lucky” with the object of other students’ affection.

Going back to Miss Crabtree in The Little Rascals and probably well beyond, students have had feelings about their teachers. It is understandable that students look up their teachers, admire them, and maybe even have some affection for them. Young children especially feel bonds to their teachers because they become surrogate parents during the school day, but no matter how the student feels it is the teacher who is the professional. It is the teacher who must set appropriate boundaries and enforce them.

During the school day the concept of in loco parentis is in place in a school building. This means that every person in that building from the janitor to the principal has the legal responsibility to care for the students “in place of the parents” who are not present. This is a monumental and sacred trust that educators must adhere to, and this seeming epidemic of teachers having affairs with their students is not only breaking the law but violating that sacred trust.

It is time for school districts across the country to provide training about professional and personal conduct. There must be a clear delineation of boundaries for educators. They should also be taught to be front line advocates for children, learning how to recognize when a colleague is about to step over the line or is doing so. One of the strongest methods of stopping this epidemic is to have teachers and administrators become fluent in advocacy for students’ safety and well being, hopefully preventing violators before they can act.

Having been a teacher and a school administrator, over the years I have seen so many fine men and women who become educators for all the right reasons. They go into the field with aspirations to make a difference in their students’ lives, and that has always inspired me. Still, no one can ignore what is happening in schools across America and something has to be done about it – not tomorrow or next week or month but right now.

The best way to approach this situation is to think of consequences. Teachers who are guilty of these reprehensible actions will lose their licenses, destroy their own families, and go to prison for years. Unfortunately, the consequences for the students are even more daunting.

Students who become sexually involved with their teachers are victims and they face trauma that is enduring and overwhelming. Even in cases where the student may have willingly participated or even initiated the affair, the student is a minor and incapable of emotionally understanding the ramifications of his or her actions. Consequences for the student may be incalculable initially and devastating over many years to come.

Something has to change and it has to happen sooner rather than later. Teachers need to know that they are expected to always act in a professional manner – which means not sharing cell phone numbers, not being friends with the student through social media, and not exchanging personal email because all of those actions are steps down a lurid road of no return.

Teachers play an awesome and crucial role in the lives of children and must remember the golden rule of in loco parentis – during that school day teachers are acting as parents would and not as friends or paramours. There are boundaries and they must be upheld and honored because their professional responsibilities must outweigh any personal issues or desires.

We owe it to the children of this country to find answers quickly and protect them. School districts, educators, and parents must all come together and work to find an antidote to this sordid epidemic, which is an American tragedy that is destroying lives, and the time to act is now.