Thursday, February 22, 2018

Movie Review: Wonder – A Lesson in Love and Understanding for Kids and Their Parents





In these weeks before the Academy Awards, I always find myself binge watching nominated films either in the theater, streaming them online, or getting the DVD. Thus, after viewing films like Get Out, Dunkirk, Phantom Thread, Lady Bird and more, I got hooked on Wonder – nominated only in the category of Makeup and Hairstyling – thanks to my young son’s desire to see it.

The film Wonder, based on the New York Times bestselling children’s novel by R. J. Palacio, is not just a story for kids – it sends a powerful message to people of all ages about the importance of treating everyone with respect. It also features strong performances by Julia Roberts, Owen Wilson, Mandy Patinkin, and young Jacob Tremblay (so memorable as Jack in Room) in the role of Auggie, a young boy suffering from Treacher Collins syndrome that causes him to have facial deformity that has required 27 surgeries.

Directed by Stephen Chbosky (The Perks of Being a Wallflower), Wonder deftly tackles the difficult story of a boy who has been home schooled by his mother (Roberts) because of his appearance. Auggie’s visage is at first jarring – we see him walking around in a NASA space helmet that obscures his face. When he takes it off his ears are like globs of flesh, his eyes seem a bit askew, his cheeks pulled down and scarred, and there is a feeling that he has been in a car accident or fire and had plastic surgery.

Tremblay overcomes this with a powerful and earnest performance, imbuing Auggie with such depth of heart and soul and love, and we get that all he wants is to have the world accept him as he is, but his parents recognize that middle school doesn’t always work that way. Mom Isabel has put everything into Auggie’s life and education, but she makes a stand about him going to school in hopes that he will be able to have a semblance of a normal life despite the objections of her husband Nate (Wilson).

The first day of school, not easy for most kids to begin with, does not go very well. The things that make Auggie a regular kid – he loves Star Wars movies, Minecraft, outer space, playing with his X-Box, and likes sports – matter little to the other ten-year-old kids that are in his class at Beecher Prep, especially Julian (Bryce Gheisar) who picks on Auggie and makes fun of his braided ponytail, which Auggie wears to be like a Padawan in the Star Wars films. 

After suffering all day with Julian's bullying, Auggie goes home and storms into his sister Via’s (Izabela Vidovic) room, grabs her scissors, and cuts off the ponytail, symbolically severing his protected childhood in a warm, loving home, from what he now must face out in the totally cruel real world.

Despite his difficult first day, his parents convince him to go back to school. Auggie accepts that he will have to endure the taunts of Julian and his buddies but Jack (Noah Jupe), one of the boys in Julian’s group, decides to sit with Auggie at lunch one day. They begin to form a friendship, with Auggie even bringing him home after school much to the delight of Isabel.

Things seem to be going well, and although still bothered by the other boys, Auggie likes school because of Jack. Halloween comes – Auggie’s favorite time of year because he gets to wear a mask – and he is ready to go to school dressed as Boba Fett from Star Wars, but his dog throws up on the costume. Auggie goes to school dressed as Ghost Face (from the Scream movies), but Jack is expecting him to be Fett. When Auggie goes into the classroom Jack notices Auggie but doesn’t know it is he (a clever plot device reminding me of Shakespeare’s use of characters in disguise) so, when prodded by Julian, Jack says negative things about Auggie causing him to run out of class and asks the nurse to tell his mother that he is sick.

Thus Halloween, Auggie’s favorite holiday, is destroyed and so are his spirits. Once home he is unaware that he has ruined a mother-daughter day Isabel and Via have planned. Via, a complex character in her own right, has been feeling neglected because her parents’ world seems to revolve around Auggie, but she deeply loves her brother and decides to forget her own plans and puts on a costume to try to salvage Auggie’s Halloween.

Now we reach the point where we ask the salient questions: can Auggie ever get the kids in the school to treat him like any other kid? Will Via, who has become estranged from her own best friend Miranda (Danielle Rose Russell), be able to join the drama club and find new friends, and will Isabel and Nate reconsider their decision and go back to having Isabel home school their son again?

The answer to these questions is spoiler territory, but the way Chobsky gets you to the end is worth not knowing because it is an incredibly enjoyable trip. One of the key things that makes this film so successful is that Chobsky makes a movie about a child with facial deformities not just a movie about a child with facial deformities. Using a chapter-like format, he lets the audience get to know
Auggie, Via, Jack, and Miranda more deeply, enriching their characters and broadening the scope of the film to reflect everyone’s journey and how it is affected by events triggered by Auggie’s going to Beecher Prep. 

Chobsky’s other amazing accomplishment is that he has made a Julia Roberts movie that is not a Julia Roberts movie. Julia always shines in films (as she does here), but her innate spark is tempered, and she slides into Isabel’s shoes in a way that is convincing and necessary. She also works well with Wilson – whom we expect usually to be engaging in shenanigans of some kind – who is thoroughly believable as the dad who will play video games and bang plastic toy Star Wars lightsabers all day long, but also adds nuances as the concerned father who wants to do what is best for his kids.

The rest of the cast seems perfectly suited for each role, with Mandy Patinkin’s Principal Tushman a comic gem. The setting mostly takes place in the warmth of the Pullman family brownstone and the children’s schools, and there is a sense of those places importance in the overall story. While the film will definitely entertain its target tween audience, it has been crafted in a way as to appeal to all ages.

After watching the movie together, I realized it had a profound effect on my son. He identified with Auggie’s situation and could relate to his appreciation of all things Star Wars, but the main takeaway he had was that the film was truthful – kids can be mean, but they have to be shown and taught the importance of kindness.

In essence that is what the film is all about – kids, teachers, and parents doing the right thing and treating people well. It is something Auggie learns from his parents but, as we see in the film, even some parents need a lesson too, and thus watching this movie provides numerous teachable moments.


Wonder, as the titles implies, is wonderful, and a great film to watch with the whole family and is highly recommended.                                                                                  

Saturday, February 17, 2018

The Olympic Games in South Korea – Let’s Give Peace a Chance




The 23rd Olympic Winter Games in South Korea provide approximately 3000 athletes from across the globe an opportunity to perform on a world stage. These competitors come together in a manner that overcomes borders, defies current and old conflicts, and provides a chance for the best of 92 nations to compete. The Olympic games offer a unique opportunity for humanity to dare to hope that we could all operate like this more frequently than for two weeks every four years.

It has often been said that sporting events transcend political and economic concerns, and it is true that sports such as skiing, skating, and ice hockey do not belong to any country. Anyone can play them anywhere in the world, and that is their inherent beauty. This is how North Korean leader Kim Jong Un and American basketball player Dennis Rodman forged a friendship – through their mutual love of the game.

Time and again we see proof of how sporting events can do much more to bring us together than to tear us apart; however, the games in South Korea have had the element of conflict and the pressure of world affairs hovering over them from the start. Now this is nothing new – think about the 1936 summer Olympics in Berlin or more recently the 1984 winter games in Sarajevo – but the stakes in the current situation seem much higher. The specter of a nuclear armed North Korea not that far away from Pyeongchang in the south cannot help but intrude on the pageantry and sports of this competition.

The fact that Kim Yo Jung, sister of Kim Jong Un, came to Pyeongchang and attended the Opening Ceremony of these games was historic and significant. With all the turmoil and fear surrounding her brother’s saber rattling over the years, this moment was decidedly peaceful and meaningful. Sports can bring people from all sides together to appreciate the achievement and beauty of athletes whose training helps them to soar to new heights, and perhaps Jo Yung’s presence is a necessary step toward an even larger accomplishment – moving forward on a road to peace between the Koreas.

You would never know that from the negativity surrounding her visit. Some members of Congress have used this as an opportunity to criticize her and the delegation of North Korean officials. While it is understandable that there can be disdain for a regime that has been accused of atrocities, there must also be a desire to avoid war. This is not a case of appeasement or a payout to a brutal dictatorship, but rather a chance for both sides to forget the rhetoric of disagreement and to start slowly building a relationship that will take these countries – and the world – away from the brink of war.

Vice President Mike Pence, who attended the Opening Ceremony and sat near Ms. Yo Jung in the dignitaries’ section, refused to even acknowledge her presence. That seems a rather odd response at a time when perhaps a greeting of some warmth and decency might have carried some weight when she returned home and let her brother know that the Vice President of the United States treated her respectfully. Our dealings with other rogue countries and repressive nations are proof that we are willing to shake hands with despots when it suits our purposes.

During the Opening Ceremony the two Koreas marched into the arena together carrying a unification flag depicting one Korea. It was an emotional and moving moment, however dramatic and staged, for it represented not only a possibility of a peaceful course for the relationship between the Koreas but also hope for the future of our planet.

The United States should have a unique prospective when viewing what has happened in Korea in the 73 years since World War II. Having had our own experience of being a nation divided between North and South during the Civil War, Americans know what it is like to have a country torn apart, families separated by a disputed border, and a future clouded by the specter of war.

The United States luckily survived the Civil War, reunified, and became stronger even though the conflict proved costly and affected the nation deeply for generations. North and South Korea have not been so fortunate – they remain in a state of war with a demilitarized zone separating the two countries. The South has become a beacon of democracy and has a bustling economy, while the North has risen to be a nuclear power and remains a communist country with many poor citizens and an authoritarian leader.

The United States could have had something similar happen to it if the Civil War had not been decided by a clear victory. Imagine if the war ended in a stalemate, with the South and the North creating a militarized border across the Mason-Dixon line and beyond. The Southern states would have remained a different country and our nation would have been forever torn apart. Our country and the world would be a decidedly different place, with the outcome of two world wars and many other historical events in question.

It is understandable to be concerned about North Korea’s nuclear program, its grim human rights record, and the treatment of foreigners like the horrific case of Otto Warmbier who was held for over a year and tortured before being sent home to his parents in America to die. Despite knowing North Korea’s abysmal track record, the unprecedented cooperation between the Koreas is also a reality negotiated by them. This thaw in frigid relations should not be discounted, for the possibility of a peaceful resolution is always more desirable than the alternative.

The games will be over after next week, but the reverberations of the visit of Kim Jo Yung and the North Korea delegation, along with the participation of North Korean athletes and cheerleaders in the games, will remain a memorable and defining moment of this Olympics. This is not something that should be taken lightly but rather utilized as the first step toward ending the hostilities between North and South Korea.

It is clear that in sending his sister, other high-ranking officials, and North Korean athletes to South Korea, Kim Jong Un is extending an olive branch. South Korean President Moon Jae-in seems to recognize the importance of not taking this for granted, and he may in the months ahead embark on a journey to the North to participate in talks with Kim Jong Un.


The world wants and needs a peaceful resolution for Korea. No one, including the government of the United States, should do anything to impede that possibility. If talks between the two nations can bring peace and stability, that will be a thrill of victory that overshadows the glories of winning Olympic medals. If that happens, this Olympics in South Korea will long be remembered as making peace possible, so why can’t the rest of us be willing to give it a chance.   

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Another Collusion Story – Why Are So Many MLB Free Agents Still Available?




Another Collusion Story – Why Are So Many MLB Free Agents Still Available?

Spring training, the stuff that baseball fans’ dreams are made of, starts next week, and there are still so many Major League Baseball free agents languishing without teams. Word that the Chicago Cubs had signed pitcher Yu Darvish to a six-year, $126 million dollar contract makes me wonder not only what took so long but how this signing will affect all the others still in limbo.

The answer may be a case of nefarious collusion – no, nothing to do with politics – by the MLB owners and its commissioner who could be pushing back at Scott Boras, whose clients include J.D. Martinez, Jake Arrieta, Eric HosmerMike Moustakas, Greg Holland, and others who are some of the best of more than 25 free agents still waiting for a date for the prom.

Anyone who follows baseball knows Boras for what he does well – getting the absolutely best deal for his clients and standing firm until he gets that deal. That reputation has made ballplayers gravitate to him because he does produce results; however, the process is not always a smooth ride.

The MLB owners, some of whom may be content to let the free agent market stew and look to rebuild their teams, have no doubt had enough of Boras controlling the market like he had a monopoly. Others perhaps are hoping that anxious players looking to join a team will be willing to sign a contract that will be a bargain for them.

The problem is that players without a team have no place to go to work out and train – that is ostensibly the purpose of spring training. Of course, you are probably thinking that the players can find gyms and try to keep in shape, but that pales in comparison to joining players in a camp and being under the watchful eyes of coaches. It also prevents them from becoming part of their new team.

MLB Players Association chief Tony Clark announced that MLBPA will open a spring training camp for all the unsigned free agents – hey, there’s enough of them to start their own team – and Clark pointed a finger directly at MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred (long considered to be in the owners’ corner) and accusing MLB for this excruciatingly long free agent market that Clark says “threatens the integrity of the game.”

This move does give the players a place to go, but they are all men without a country thrown into the same boat hoping to find a port. Perhaps they can bond over the circumstances and get into shape for what lies ahead, but what if the phone never rings and they have no team on Opening Day?

Is it collusion? Well, could it be that MLB and the owners got together to decide to slow the market to a veritable crawl in order to not only give Boras the middle finger but also to pave the way for almost desperate players to make concessions and sign smaller contracts? Tony Clark may be on to something here.

Maybe collusion is too harsh of a word, but what else could it be when so many free agents are still men without a team? Boras stands on one side of the battlefield with his many conditions and demands for each of his clients, and the MLB owners are on the other side refusing to open their wallets. We have to wonder – who is going to blink first?

I have trouble with both sides for different reasons. The owners have plenty of money and, if they are indeed conspiring to avoid signing these players, they are setting up a season where numerous teams will not be good as they could and should be. Quality players are being left out in the cold, so Clark is correct about the game’s integrity and then some. If the owners want fans to continue to pay high ticket prices, they need to field teams that are worth seeing.

As for the players, I admire that they are union members, but some of them are very wealthy in their own right. Hitching their carts to Battling Boras is something they do of their own volition, so if they continue on without a deal maybe they can look into the mirror to see someone to blame.

I am usually extremely excited when spring training starts – and as a Mets fan I feel my team has already made the right moves this year – but it is disappointing to see so many players still unsigned and, if this is stalemate is extended into the season, their absence will compromise the quality of the game. That will be sad for them, their fellow players, and the fans who may think twice about going to games.

The owners, Boras, and the players themselves need to figure out what kind of season they want 2018 to be. If this drags on, maybe half empty ballparks will send a clear message to everyone involved in this debacle, but by then it may be too late to save the season or perhaps even the game itself. 



Saturday, February 10, 2018

No Ands or Buts About It




I have a pet peeve – I get very annoyed when people start a sentence with a conjunction. In a world filled with many serious issues and pressing problems, conjunctions may not seem to matter, but they have important functions in sentences. They are meant to join words, clauses, or sentences but should never be used to start a sentence.

Teaching introductory English classes at the college level, I have seen the many different ways people can mangle our language over the years. Sometimes it is carelessness to the point of absurdity; other times it is obvious that they have had insufficient preparation in their previous twelve years of schooling, and it breaks my heart. No matter the reason why a student commits this sacrilege of misusing the language, I have been more or less lenient in taking off points for this transgression; furthermore, I have faced the grim task of trying undo what has or hasn't been done with these students: no easy task I can assure you.

In my current role as an editor at Blogcritics Magazine, I have found great pleasure in being exposed to some fantastic articles by writers in many different genres. I am so fortunate to have this opportunity because I am reading about so many things on so many levels that I would never have been able to do before. Over all, this has been an extraordinarily positive experience.

I do notice one thing lately that is bothersome. A number of writers are starting sentences with conjunctions. "But" and "And" are the most often used, and it is happening with such frequency that I am wondering why. I did encounter this once a number of years ago in a freshman class, and upon researching things, I discovered that many of the students had the same English teacher in high school. The perpetrator had been found in that case, but what is happening here and now?

While I have seen this done even in print and online magazines, it still bothers me a great deal. I guess I can't accept the idea of starting a sentence with a conjunction  because it is a "conjunction" that is supposed to connect something. The good sisters of no grammar mercy in my Catholic school really hammered home many lessons, and this is one of them: You never start a sentence with a conjunction!

I know technically that it is not improper to start a sentence with one of the seven: and, but, or, yet, for, nor, so. Still, every time I see it done, it drives me bonkers.

And I will feel better if I just let this go. Or maybe I never will. Yet now I think I understand. For I know it's a far, far better thing not to worry about. Nor should I care anymore. But I know that I do. So there, I said it!

Saturday, February 3, 2018

Dating in the Age of #MeToo and Time’s Up




Dating is difficult – at least based on my personal experience which was a long time ago in a galaxy not that far away – I always faced going out on a date with trepidation. On a date night – especially a first date – I felt nervous and anxious mostly because I perceived that I had a responsibility for planning the night and would blame myself if it did not go well.

I am told that it is still difficult, but also it is exacerbated by the implications of #MeToo and Time’s Up movements. Men with whom I have spoken indicate that they are a bit confused now about going on dates or flustered when trying to meet women.   

Some of the feedback from men who are actively dating (all names have been changed to protect identities) is interesting, and I can see the difficulty they are having but also find some humor in the tales they tell. This is, of course, not to trivialize the importance of the movement to call out sexual abusers or people who use positions of power to undermine or exploit others – mostly men victimizing women – because these are worthy causes and their efforts are necessary and compelling.

Still, all things have causes and effects, and, judging from what I am being told, men believe that dating has definitely been affected by what is happening in these movements. We also must face the fact that dating can be an arduous process even in the best of times, and this had been true going back to when my great grandfather picked up my great grandmother for their first date in a horse and buggy 120 years ago.

I spoke to a 50 something friend who likes to use online sites to meet his dates. Apparently, he engages in a good deal of online chatting and sharing of photographs before a real physical meeting takes place. “Frank” says he uses pictures from when he was 42 and had his hair and it was not gray – but he feels this is fair since the ladies apparently do similar things with their images.

“The online stuff is the easiest part,” Frank says. “In fact, in some ways I prefer it because there are long discussions and we learn so much about one another. It’s when you actually meet that things start to go downhill.

“Going out now is awkward,” he says. “We’ve spoken online for weeks or even months, and I try never to bring up politics or this Time’s Up stuff. But then we actually meet and invariably these topics do come up and then I feel weird. The last time this happened we struggled to talk during the rest of the dinner. To be honest, I struggled to talk and mostly listened to her. Later, I drove her home, walked her to the door, and then after a few long seconds I reached out and shook her hand. We both knew there would never be another date. Talk about awkward.”

A relative who is in his early twenties said that he is still meeting lots of girls, but “Tony” thinks that the #MeToo and Time’s Up movements have done something to change them. He complains, “Now they have higher expectations. They want to go out to the most expensive places, and, then when the check comes to the table, they either excuse themselves to go to the ladies’ room or just sit there sipping wine and smiling.” Tony asks, “What about friggin’ hashtag MeToo when the check comes?”

“Rick,” another young relative, tells of how he goes to bars and wonders if he should approach girls, but he is not sure anymore of how to go about it. He says, “If they are wearing a Time’s Up pin, I’m not even going near them. One of my friends went up to a beautiful girl wearing a MeToo T-shirt and asked if he could buy her drink. She makes a weird face and says, ‘You’re not serious, right?’ Then he came back to our table and we just talked to each other the rest of the night. It’s really hard to meet girls right now.”

Another friend of mine in his 40s and I went out to dinner recently, and the rather attractive waitress was wearing a Time’s Up pin. Now, I know how people can harass waitresses, so I have always felt they deserve to be treated respectfully and given good tips because of all the crap they have to put up with from customers, especially men.

As I am sitting there I remember “Jack’s” shtick – he once said he always could get a date with a waitress – but this young lady was having none of it. He flirted and flirted and then she finally pointed to the pin on her blouse and said, “I guess you don’t get the message, huh?”

As she walked away Jack leaned over and said, “I suppose she’s spitting in my food now, right, buddy.”

I laughed and replied, “And that’s well deserved, Jack, considering all the waitresses you’ve annoyed over the years.” He chuckled, but I know that he didn’t get it that his comeuppance was long overdue.

Jack is the type of guy who has never grown up, but that is no excuse for him or for anyone’s behavior. Jack’s probably never going to change, even if he could go for training, and I do think that training is not such a farfetched idea at all. Men – and even more essentially boys – need to have some sort of instruction because it is obvious that many of them are sorely lacking in knowing how to treat women respectfully.

After speaking to these fellows, I sought clarity on the topic and went to visit the local coffee shop where Manny, the old Brooklyn Dodgers fan who still thinks they are coming back to town and building a new Ebbet’s Field, sat dressed in head-to-toe Philadelphia Eagles gear. 

I motioned to his clothes and asked, “What’s up?” because Manny is the biggest Jets fan I know.

“My loathing for the Patriots, my complete and utter disdain for the team, its quarterback, and its coach, has brought me to this. I have no choice but to root for the Eagles, and they are going to kick Belichick’s butt.”

After some more back and forth talk about the Super Bowl, I got to my question. “Manny, what do you think about dating in the age of #MeToo and Time’s Up?”

The lights of the shop glared on Manny’s thick eyeglasses as he folded his newspaper, placed it on his lap, and lifted his steaming cup of joe for a sip. He looked up at me sideways and says, “Women have always been mistreated by men, so now it’s their turn to make men know they’re not gonna take it anymore.”

“Yeah,” I ask, “but what about dating?”

Manny had a slight smirk on his face – he was thrice married and twice divorced and is now a widower – and said, “Dating has always sucked and always will suck, but probably now it seems like it sucks a lot more.”

As always, I can count on Manny for his honesty. As I made my way home from the coffee shop, I thought about what everyone said and wondered if they are all wrong. Maybe #MeToo and Time’s Up isn’t bad for dating at all. Perhaps it is creating a unique opportunity for discourse about dating and how these movements can create a climate that is better for everyone.

I have always remembered how difficult dating was for me, but I never really thought about how hard it is for women too. Unless accompanied by a chaperone, a woman definitely has to be somewhat nervous about getting into a car – or the old horse and buggy – and being in a position of vulnerability.

The current atmosphere is one that has forced a conversation that no one had been engaging in for far too long. This open dialogue – especially with women speaking out about their harrowing experiences – should lead to better understanding between the sexes, and hopefully it forces men to come to terms with the inappropriate behavior of many members of their sex and makes them search for tangible ways to examine past wrongs and find a path to prevent new ones from occurring.

As for dating, maybe Manny is right and it has always sucked, but perhaps it doesn’t have to anymore. Hopefully, #MeToo and Time’s Up will cause dating to evolve and rise to a new level where men and women have nothing to be nervous about because the playing field has changed and both people on a date are totally relaxed and can enjoy each other’s company with no worries or pressures.  


Who knows if that day will ever come, but I think #MeToo and Time’s Up are providing an opportunity for it to happen. These movements are going forward and have so much momentum that nothing is going to stop them, and in the end that will be a good thing for women and men.